Friday, May 26, 2006

The Family Bed or Co-sleeping

When I was a young mother, we were chastised by the medical establishment for feeding (breast or bottle) more frequently than every four hours, unless the baby was premature or severely undersized. People like me who refused to obey were threatened with all sorts of "problems." We were also warned not to hold our babies and young children too much, or they'd be "too dependent." Too much "attention" could and would spoil the children. That's what the experts told us.

And the greatest sin of course was to take the baby to your bed to sleep! Gevalt! You can't imagine what a serious crime that was.

When my first two were little, I didn't listen to the feeding rules, since luckily I was influenced by a nursing friend, who trusted her baby to tell her when it was time to eat. But nighttime was harder. I remember getting up with my second and sitting in the rocking chair nursing here in the middle of the night miserable and cold. By the time I had my third, things changed. First of all I was abroad and didn't have my rocking chair. Second I didn't have the energy to stay awake to feed her seated, so I just took her to be with us and discovered some very easy ways to feed and sleep. By the time the other two came along, they were perfectly welcome in the "family bed" until they didn't need it.

So I'm glad that the "experts" are starting to wake up to the advantages of flexible sleeping arrangements.

4 comments:

Batya said...

My pleasure. Natural, as usual, is best.

DavidofOz said...

When the little one wakes for a feed, the husband stumbles out half awake, returns with the baby, attaches her to his wife and all fall asleep.
Then in the morning both ask each other, "When did she get in bed with us?"
It gets more difficult when the baby can walk and arrives on her own volition.

Lydia Netzer said...

I co-slept with both my kids. I'm still co-sleeping part of the night with my daughter, who is 2. Soon enough, I know she'll be pushing me away with both hands and trying to be more independent... better to spend this time holding her close. :)

Sometimes it's hard to believe we all survived those "old days" with all the rules... and no car seats! Hehehe. A miracle we don't all have attachment problems... including missing limbs. :>)

Batya said...

davidus,
I never had them walk in without a warning; I guess we were lucky.


lost,
that's it

When they get enough attention and closeness, they're more ready to be independent.