Tuesday, May 13, 2014

My NCSY Story on the NCSY 60 Site

I was asked to tell my story for the site celebrating NCSY's 60 years.  Here it is:

NCSY CHANGED MY LIFE
Written by Batya (Beth Spiegelman) Medad, Blogger and NCSY Alumna 
The title of this says it all, or it says nothing. And it’s certainly not unique. Even here in Shiloh, so far from North America, I have quite a few neighbors who also have NCSY stories.

All those decades ago, yes, half a century plus, as I danced and sang those Torah tunes at every chance I had, my feet pounded on the floors, and the vibrations can still be felt here the other side of the world a half a century later.

The fact that NCSY changed my life shouldn’t be such a surprise to anyone who knew me or NCSY in the 1960’s. The surprise was that I ended up in NCSY. An Orthodox Jewish Youth Organization was not the sort of place I’d be expected to join. From infancy until the age of thirteen we lived in Bayside, NY, and my parents were founding members of the Oakland Jewish Center, which was Conservative. In terms of religious observance our home was pretty far removed from the norms of Conservative Judaism of the time or even Reform. There wasn’t any Shabbat observance besides occasional candle-lighting and chicken soup. I never heard Kiddush, and “Shabbat” wasn’t weekly.

When we moved to Great Neck in 1962, my parents ended up joining the Great Neck Synagogue for reasons far removed from Jewish commitment and rituals. Rabbi Wolf offered a membership deal my parents could afford.

I hated living in Great Neck. I just couldn’t connect to the prevailing customs, values and materialism of Great Neck North. After being there a few months, my father noticed that I didn’t have many, if any, friends and decided to take action. One Saturday night, as I remember, late December, 1962, he forced me into the old, small, dark second-hand car with the holey floor he had bought from a former neighbor and announced that he was taking me to the shul.

“They have a Teen Club. I read about it in their bulletin, and you’re going to join it, and you’re going to like it, and you’re going to make friends whether you like it or not!”

You could say that the joke was on him, because he was the one most upset with my transformation.
Batya PhotoBatya Dancing in a Salute Israel Parade Ad

At first I didn’t really notice anything odd or religious about the group. There certainly was no pressure on me to adopt any religious observance. We just did regular teenage things like play Ping-Pong, talk and on occasion go to bigger events run by a youth organization called NCSY. I liked the people, and they seemed to like me. Meetings were mostly on Sundays, which didn’t interfere with the rest of my life. Nobody ever told me to change the way I dressed or asked what food my mother served at home. The boys wore kippot, but they did that at the Oakland Jewish Center, too.

Before I knew it, these activities became the center of my life, and that included going to NCSY Shabbatonim, National and more. I just lived for the events. When my parents wouldn’t give me the money to pay, I used my babysitting money. At the same time I was learning about Shabbat and Jewish Law, I was also running the best dances in Great Neck for teens. They were in the shul as our big fundraising events. You must know that in those days even Orthodox shuls had “dinner dances,” so for us teens to have a dance was not a rebellion. I was on the committee to audition the band, and kids came from all over Great Neck to attend.

I was elected to chapter and regional office. I dreamt of being a National Officer, but I still ate traif and was mechalel Shabbat.  I didn’t see the irony. I was just happy that in NCSY I was accepted. In NCSY I was popular. I loved NCSY even more than NSCY loved me. This was not quite what my father had envisioned that winter night, but in actuality it was exactly what he had demanded of me. I did have lots of friends in NCSY and I’m still friends with many people I first met in NCSY.

How did NCSY succeed in changing me? That’s a good question. Rabbis Stolper and Wasserman created an atmosphere and organization that used so many different methods and techniques simultaneously on so many teenagers, that it’s hard to say what worked on whom. This wasn’t a very organized chemistry experiment.

Part of it was the singing, the dancing, the sessions, the talking, the fun, the friends, the being away from parents and school.

NCSY of the sixties suited the sixties, and it suited me in particular. I just can’t imagine living any life other than the Torah life I learned about in NCSY. And not for the first time, I wish to thank all who were part of inventing that great Jewish youth organization.
Batya Receiving an Award at an NCSY Convention in the 60sBatya Receiving an Award at an NCSY Convention in the 60s

Batya has lived in Shiloh with her family since 1981. She has been a writer for various publications and has her own blog called Shiloh Musings. Batya is also the initiator of Women’s Rosh Chodesh Prayers at Tel Shiloh.

5 comments:

Debbie Dan said...

I've known Batya(whom I still call Beth) a long time(we were roommates as well as Israeli Dance Chug co-chairs at Stern and we're now both in Israel in Neighboring yishuvim-I am in Betel) a long time and I never knew that very first background info-she has such an inspiring story and is a very inspiring person! Yasher koach!

Anonymous said...

Yes, Batya. Don't remember ever hearing the part with your father. Very cute. Yes, although I come from a Shomer Shabbat home, NCSY played a great part in my teenage years up in Rochester. (Har Sinai region!) It developed leadership skills and taught us to appreciate our Torah life that much more since we had to explain it to others. Kol HaKavod to Rabbi Pinchas Stolper and Rabbi Chaim Wasserman and Rabbi Louis (Yitzchok) Ginsburg, (z"l)for doing what they did and still do for Torah life. We've been in Israel for over 35 years now and I'm still wondering why we can't transfer the NCSY model to Israel where it's badly needed...It'll happen, Be"H.
Leah (Becker) Wolf (not too anonymous!)

Batya Medad said...

Debbie, Leah for sure keeping a Torah life was difficult for all then. B"H we are all in Israel

Esser Agaroth said...

This post has been included in this week's Jewish-Israeli Blog Round-Up (AKA: Haveil Havalim), Parashath Behuqothai Edition!

Batya Medad said...

Esser, thanks.