me?

is it me?
the same
who in a hat store
tells the saleslady
"I know what's right,
need no help"

and can
refuse any suggestion
with full, unshakeable confidence

but somehow
in less that a year
bought three pairs of boots
none of them me

each less me than the previous

two in barely a week
two I don't know
how I can wear
be seen

one
like high moccasins
making me look
more Pocahontas
than a bubby
more Tiger Lily
than an English teacher

and the most recent
synthetic Golda shoes
laces up past the ankles
looks so "old-fashioned"
not fun
neither youthful
nor elegant
the total and complete opposite
of the ones that would
fit in a tepee

and the old ones
bought last sale season
then they seemed
too funny, fancy and fussy
at least
they keep
my feet
from freezing
as the knife draft
sneaks into, davka,
my row, my seat
in shul

so now
with three pairs of boots
none of which is me

purchasing more
not this year
unless...
I find "me"