updated #3 t'hilim and kohelet, psalms and eccl.

enjoyed this better than previous ones
more text oriented, which suits my mind

XXX
symbol of Beit Hamikdash is tshuva, repentence
6-We can't imagine, without experiencing suffering, without the "dark" can't value, appreciate light
7-people who are over confident, claim they can understand without suffering
8- Two contrasting philosophies: Rabbi Eliezer: if I work G-d helps, and Rabbi Yehoshua: I do nothing and G-d helps, both use G-d to prove themselves
11-both sides
10- there are poeople who only learn from difficulties

XXXI- David had lots of problems, under siege. When Shmuel Hanavi called on Yishai and sons, David wasn't there. He was a shepherd and always treated as inferior.
admits no place in this world to hide.
Hard to know if we understand G-d's message

Kohelet, 12-18 in present tense
dealing with, surviving intelligence, high "ceiling" IQ
not easy, problems with world, people are stupid
Shlomo hamellech considered most brillian in all fields

He was a king, and idiot and then a king, but not with all the previous strength and authority
In Shoftim, Judges, instructions for King, but Shlomo always thought he could get away with thing, smarter than everybody
being kohelet was his punishment
for "lihichamek" avoiding, trying to get around things to prove he's better
"le'enot" torture, learning not for fun
true/false
good/bad
no real purpose
no reason to learn

all packed

all packed
simultaneously
for morning
and afternoon
wash hanging
hopefully drying

run to class
run back home
lunch in wave
laundry brought in
eat quickly

run to work
wait for ride
teach, hopefully
students cooperate

hitch home
quickly--I pray
dinner, then

at least
that's the plan
"life is what happens when....."
according to John Lennon

G-d willing
good surprises
not bad

all packed
better run.....

another week

another week
Thank G-d

each day
plans
and work
and....

Sunday
study and teach

Monday
maybe scan
write
launder
???????

Tuesday
? and teach

Wednesday
swim
meet friend
babysit?

Thursday
cook
teach
party at wedding

Friday
prepare for Shabbat
as free guest
in fancy hotel

then Shabbat
without
home responsibilities
and friends
and makon kavuah
regular place
to pray

another week

but who knows
what the week
will really bring

daily dilemma

winter's daily dilemma
to hang or not hang
laundry
that is

to be on constant alert
eyes at the window

dry breeze
or wet sprinkles

to launder
no choice
but how to dry
that is the question

to decorate the house
with towels, shirts
and unmentionables

or risk
a rain rinse

in the fickle sun
to leave the flip, flying fabric
like irresponsible
unreliable children
playing alone
on the merpeset
--balcony, terrace

can the rain
be trusted to fall
away from the wash?
at times more convenient?
like night
when I sleep

yahoo weather
predicts sun
so dirty towels
and filthy cotton socks
locked in the drum
pelted by suds
rinsed and spun

will be trusted
to behave
and to dry
outside
this morning

first rain

first rain
washes the dust
the sand from the leaves

leaves the leaves
sparkling
like jewels in the moonlight

first rain
cleans the air

a pleasure
to take
a deep breath

first rain
wipes the soot
from the street lights

first rain
drives the oil and grime
onto the roads
takes more than a first rain
to clear

first rain
signals
time to plant
for those who do

first rain
sweetens the citrus
anxiously
waiting on the branches

first rain
brings winter

searching--inside the blog

may be a better way
but
when looking for
an "old post," old poem, letter or my one picture

keep clicking
last on list

which will be first
to search
for something written before

rain

it rained
sort of
not all over
not all at once

different clouds
emptied
different times

so when
travelling
just a few miles

like going
thousands

almost different climates

by this hill
rain

junction dry

rain on the slope

rays of sun
on the mountain

system rusty
after a long
long dry summer

nothing new

nothing's new
too true

must be the influence of
Kohelet

seems like
in recent weeks
every muse
quotes:
nothing new
under the sun

English teacher in me says
"key words repeat"

so is that
what my
subconscious sends
to my fingers
each time
I write?

true?
nothing new?
we're condemned
to repeat
same mistakes

how long?

seasons change

I can smell it
it's going to rain
maybe

the air is different
not like a week ago
or even yesterday

strange odors
the sky is
white, grey
and puffy

I can feel
the dirt in the air

the first rain
like dripping mud

roads become slick
from over half a year
of oil and soot

cars slide around
out of control

first drops
so large
like from a cup

dust and sand
mixed with water
coat the windows, walls
and ground

need lots of rain
to clean
summer's dirt

need lots of rain
to water the plants

need lots of rain
for a whole year
when most
of the year
is dry

we're due
for rain
real rain
not a tease

breeze
enters the windows

from winter's wind

when will it rain
will there be a drum roll
of thunder

or just quiet drops
sneaking up on us

surprise in the morning

smells like
rain

out

sometimes words
rattle
and must
get out of my system

they take over
my mind
until
I let them out

now cleansed
I must
do the dishes

alarming alarm clock

after days of silence
alarming noise
before dawn
while struggling to sleep
through fog horn
snores
gave up
turned it off
took out cellphone
before it
alarmed snorer

snuck out
to computer
realized
forgot backup disk
in drive

in my rush
to get
a good night's sleep

sinkin' sidebars

finally discovered
why my
sidebars sank

due to over-weight
on the
other side
of the page

so
if you're suffering
from sinkin' sidebars

put your messages
on a diet

Punishment

thunder!
lightening!
but no rain......

punishment
for the politicians

who think themselves
G-d!

avoiding/procrastinating

avoiding
procrastinating

is there a difference

if we avoid doing something
we procrastinate

when procrastinating
we avoid

or
are they two different dimensions

avoid dangerous objects
avoid annoying people
avoid frightening situations

procrastinate about
cleaning
washing
certain phone calls
chores
unpleasantness

is the difference
linguistic or philosophical

or non-existent?

Was this an exercise in avoidance? procrastination? or both?

notes on t'hilim and kohelet #2

comment-not enough text-based stuff being taught; I'm going to speak to Nissan to change his approach

psalms
I walked in a little late, so it took me a bit to catch on. We were continuing with Psalms XXX. He was talking about special Biblical laws concerning eating food from sacrifices and what are the borders of Jerusalem. Today's borders are not the Biblical ones, takes a King, Navi (prophet), orim t'umim (magical tool for Hashem to send messages), 71 elders, and two "todot."

Line 3 King David's problems, possibly medical/physical, because in 4, he states that G-d cured him. Refuat nefesh, curing the soul, is by doing tshuva repentence. Somehow overconfidence was mentioned at this point; maybe it's an "illness" that must be cured?

must take advantage of opportunities G-d gives us.

Line 6- he/we falls asleep weeping in olam hazeh-this world and wake up joyful in olam haba, the next world.

Shmuel 1, IX, 6, Navi (Prophet) explains past, does not predict future.

kohelet
After all that happens "nothing new"
this world depresses
line 4 dor holech, dor ba one generation goes, another comes
nothing new
this world depresses
Yeshaiyahu,
good people die, others don't care, good lift because of the wickedness, to try to get forgiveness from G-d for those who remain

Shmuel started prophicizing while Eli still alive--chain
we're not left deserted (though people feel so now)

fire/flame goes up, need fire to make fire
ruchaniyut, spirituality not utilized is wasted
nature force
evil is miss-used energy
that's what frustrates Shlomo hamelech
tires him, unending cycle

End of kohelet, end of desire
line 8 depression , empty world
there are those who don't want to put children in this world

nothing new under the sun-this world
but over the sun, the next world--different

first 11 lines/sentences, introduction
real start is from 12

should/shouldn't

I should be
sound asleep

I shouldn't be
"checking mail"
and blogging

back late
from a long day

unwinding
wasting time

hope tomorrow
won't demand

energy
I've wasted

at a wedding

danced at a wedding
last night

felt young
in swishy skirt
colorful sandals

the young couple
very young

the groom
my baby's age
and the bride
even younger

looked at each other
so much joy
excitement

made us all
remember

so we danced
unencumbered
by our years

inspiration

asked how I write
my musings

how I decide
what topic, words

easiest to say
no control

at times
images, words, ideas

rattle and scramble
in my brain

begging, straining
to escape

via fingers
on the keyboard

sometimes
I plan to go

in one direction
but suddenly--delete

and I find
myself going

going
where I didn't expect

and since I've been
meandering

the musings
pour out

more pure
and more quickly

unencumbered
by meanderings......

blog life-- lech, lecha

a new life
blog life
people met
in blogville

a little boy
with big dreams
to regain health
and walk in Holy Land

like his namesake
Joshua, who
brought the former slaves
to their new home

this little Joshua
G-d willing
will bring
his family
at least for a visit

refuah shleimah! (a complete recovery)
and a nisiya tovah! (a good trip)
parshat "Lech Lecha"
"Come, go, for your own sake"
(Genisis)

G-d told Abram
"Come, go, for your own sake"
and peel away your old identity
your old nationality
your old culture
your old family

just go
and I will show you
once you are on your way
once you're there

you don't need to know now
part of the cleansing
first be a new person
only then
can you arrive
in the promised land

alte cockas

the kiddies don't rate
next to the alte cockas
the old guys
their fathers' ages or more

just tonight
on tv
musical, songs, singers

the kids just don't have it
not the skill
not the stamina
not the training

and worse
not the understanding
that it takes more than raw talent

I wouldn't say
that these
alte cockas
were born with more
raw talent

possibly not
decades later
can neither compare
nor prove

but these
old timers
old fogies
alte cockas

sure sing better
put on a stronger show
more staying power

certainly prove
that age
is not something
to hide

growing old means
growing better
getting better

after years
of investing in our talents
honing skills

payoff time
enjoy!

time's awasting

time's awasting
should be slaving
scrubbing dishes
planning lessons
clearing clutter
doing errands
time's awasting

instead I
tap the keyboard
check the mail
surf the news
waste my evening
avoiding responsibilities
unpleasantness
I admit

time's awasting
and I'm waiting
but time never returns
life's awasting
and it's my fault

can't plan

can't plan
don't know
no control
waiting to hear
when do I work?
when do I start?
which classes?
how many hours?

and my "other life"
can't make plans
because I don't know

added stress
not fair

sky blue

sky blue
different blue
at different hours

sometimes
pale
as the sun begins to shine
almost grey

an old man's
pale blue eyes

as the oranges, golds and reds
fade away
white, silver, grey, blue

sometimes lighter
than the blue in the flag

other times
bluer, pure without even
a hint of cloud

then the sky
becomes coral
orange, silver, gold
sooty grey

until
the darkest blue
darker than the deep sea

so what is sky blue?

Growing Old(er)

yes,
growing older(er)
has advantages

first
a treasure of memories
experience and experiences

perspective of time

comparisons

no need to prove
fitter
stronger
to those young enough to be my kids
or my kids' kids

getting a seat
I don't mind
when others rise
for me

an accepted excuse
for not
doing
things I don't want to do

better than the "alternative" as they say

but when I see
those older than me
hobbling on swollen feet

led
feeble in mind
as well

I fear
and wonder if
that will happen to me

but now
in advanced middle age
pre-discounts

I enjoy
growing old(er)

week's over

week's almost over
work's not finished

still more to straighten
and food to cook
and clothes to be laundered
calls to be made
errands to be done

but
in less than twenty hours
Shabbat will
envelope us

and
whatever's undone
doesn't matter

ahhh tempting

ahhhh, yes,
very tempting

blogging a novel
a novel idea

to blog a novel
in full view

no privacy
people peeking
critiquing
comparing

baring
one's words
and thoughts
and linguistic foibles

letting one's
norishkeit
hang
in public view

tempting
I'm tempted

words, phrases,
characters and plots

flying, dancing
in my mind
begging
to be released

in blogged novel

should I
or shouldn't
give in

to temptation?

What should I do?

one of those

have I become
one of those

who turn off alarms
sound asleep
claiming
never rang

who hear
others ring
not mine

who can't
be relied on
to awake
on time

am I
one of those

who must
move my alarm
to room's far end

so the
cold from the floor
will succeed
when
the ring
unremembered?

nice busy day

nice busy day
you must have noticed
only wrote
when sipping
morning coffee

nice busy day
with neighbor
went to pool

there
saw more friends
including
one new
to pool

needs to
soak out
her stress
and pain

body cloaked
in grief
gut-wrenching
sadness

together
good to be
together

comforted
in the water

then
errands
in the city

officialize
hobby
awaiting approval

waited for friend
who forgot

if weren't for cell phones
be waiting still

slight exaggeration
but
so easy to check
that she's ok

lunched alone
wasted time
walked long

then watched
my next generation
until
seemed right to go
perfect ride home

such a
nice busy day

overslept

overslept?
naw
not me,
never

but
instead of 4:30
before dawn

disgraced
at almost
5:30

I who always hear
a snore's snort
(which I did)

somehow.....
maybe....
alarm's fault

haven't checked
seems
haven't heard it
lately

brain's
alarm listener
clogged
maybe

so
less time
for
morning norishkeit

a nice day

a nice day
yes
even nicer
than expected

wasted morning
but relaxing

laundry fluttered
in open air dryer

taught two classes
acrobatically
simultaneously

hitched to
Jerusalem

errands
partially completed

dinner
Jerusalem
garden restaurant

with
my first
baby

then, unexpectedly
bubbyied home
with two more generations

a nice day

flexible/no schedule

be flexible
no schedule
no idea
of tomorrow

no idea
of today

call at ten
not ready
call again
all mistakes

I'm flexible
no schedule
an acrobat
in time

I'm flexible
no schedule
the day's
not mine

home again

another day
home again

try not
bored
try not
too much computer
muse and meander

wash in
machine
Indian summer
late sharav
dry sun

teach later
unknown schedule

can't prepare
unknown

when start?
when end?

when rain?
time to launder
Indian summer
late sharav
(last mosquitos--I hope)

G-d given
free dryer

take advantage
before the rains

and this year,
like previous two
no umbrella
Murphy, let it rain

Who's in charge?

Who's in charge?
not us

as of
this morning
I was
too busy
teaching, meeting

for Peter's yartzeit
then
schedule changed
no teaching
but
yes meeting

so
I could
go to
the grave

then
getting
gussied up
looking
serious, professional
to meet
(with needlepoint on my lap)

teeth brushed
hat on
phone rings

sprint
to hear
no meeting

saved by the bell

lucky to hear
while still home

now other plans
memorial eve
for Peter

seems like G-d
wanted me
to remember
our friend
to remember
Peter

we're just tools
to do
what G-d plans

a year

a year
a year has passed
a year has passed since
a year has passed since Peter
passed away

passed from
this world
to the next

a year
lots happened
in a year

his wife widowed
alone but not
children returned

one to marry
neighborhood boy

we've all
grown older
wiser?
don't know

wiser?
as wise as
as wise as Peter?

no one
no one can
no one can be
no one can be as wise
as wise as Peter was

schedule changes

changes
surprises
sometimes good

minutes ago
was called

schedule change
I teach yesterday
not today
can't retroactive
so
afternoon off

don't
tell kids
I'm glad

meantime
I wait

for vcr
to be healed

vcr dr
house call

later
instead of teaching
will pay respects
to old friend
dead a year

will climb to his grave
shed tears
remember
comfort
widow and daughters and friends

so yes
happy
not teaching

but
not partying
not at all