different language
different culture
in Hebrew we
return lost articles
but in English
lost and found
finders keepers, losers weepers
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
cold, but
cold
weather's cold
my house...colder
my toes...numb
but
somehow
this morning
as I sat here
fingers on the keyboard
eyes on the screen
I noticed
in window's bottom corner
mostly blocked
by the empty house next door
strands of
corals and silvers and golds
shining like diamonds
ran
to get my camera
and then
oblivious to the
frozen morning air
opened
the door
and from the merpeset*
I aimed
my camera
at the remaining vision
and then
exited
the front door
armed
to catch shots
of the dawn's rich rays
dwindling in the sky
winter's sky
*balcony or terrace
weather's cold
my house...colder
my toes...numb
but
somehow
this morning
as I sat here
fingers on the keyboard
eyes on the screen
I noticed
in window's bottom corner
mostly blocked
by the empty house next door
strands of
corals and silvers and golds
shining like diamonds
ran
to get my camera
and then
oblivious to the
frozen morning air
opened
the door
and from the merpeset*
I aimed
my camera
at the remaining vision
and then
exited
the front door
armed
to catch shots
of the dawn's rich rays
dwindling in the sky
winter's sky
*balcony or terrace
Reflecting on my last musing
I don't know how many people read both my blogs. Shiloh Musings, linked on my yo yo of a sidebar, is the other one. I had a tough time writing about the new OU president's slip of tongue. It's very dicy and halachikly problematic to write about people.
As soon as I had heard his interview, I knew that I had to react. All sorts of texts and phrases and paragraphs flew around my head. At first I took the obvious route to attack what he said, (that those of us who made aliya, moved to Israel, years ago had done it for the "wrong reasons," that we were "running away" from things, etc. Very foolish words, that I'm sure he regretted. The names of friends, acquaintances and other well-known and not so well-known American immigrants danced in my mind, but then I realized that it wasn't worth arguing with him, that arguing would legitimize what he said.
Instead I looked at the little I knew of the man, just what I had been reading the past few days, and I wanted to be careful about what I'd say. I know many other American Jews, committed to Judaism, Israel, all the best of intentions. Many seriously planned aliyah but then gave into parental pressure to "wait" until the right time, more education, money, career, all the things that make it more and more difficult to leave. All long nails, nailing you to your lives in wherever. I remember an older friend who had been dreaming of aliyah and had raised her kids to be Zionists, and then after her eldest got married, and bought a house "good investment, instead of renting" before making aliya. My friend felt ill, with every purchase her child made to "fix up the house." She told me that they were nailing themselves to galut.
There was such bitterness, jealousness in Savitsky's words, as he justified his staying in Israel.
I really do feel sorry for him and even more so, since he hasn't taken this opportunity for tshuva, repentance. Instead of admitting his statement (see my previous post on t'hilim and kohelet) and trying to rid himself of all the negative, he's denying it, claiming it was "out of context." G-d has given him a great opportunity. It's not too late, Steve. Face up to what you did and grow from it.
As soon as I had heard his interview, I knew that I had to react. All sorts of texts and phrases and paragraphs flew around my head. At first I took the obvious route to attack what he said, (that those of us who made aliya, moved to Israel, years ago had done it for the "wrong reasons," that we were "running away" from things, etc. Very foolish words, that I'm sure he regretted. The names of friends, acquaintances and other well-known and not so well-known American immigrants danced in my mind, but then I realized that it wasn't worth arguing with him, that arguing would legitimize what he said.
Instead I looked at the little I knew of the man, just what I had been reading the past few days, and I wanted to be careful about what I'd say. I know many other American Jews, committed to Judaism, Israel, all the best of intentions. Many seriously planned aliyah but then gave into parental pressure to "wait" until the right time, more education, money, career, all the things that make it more and more difficult to leave. All long nails, nailing you to your lives in wherever. I remember an older friend who had been dreaming of aliyah and had raised her kids to be Zionists, and then after her eldest got married, and bought a house "good investment, instead of renting" before making aliya. My friend felt ill, with every purchase her child made to "fix up the house." She told me that they were nailing themselves to galut.
There was such bitterness, jealousness in Savitsky's words, as he justified his staying in Israel.
I really do feel sorry for him and even more so, since he hasn't taken this opportunity for tshuva, repentance. Instead of admitting his statement (see my previous post on t'hilim and kohelet) and trying to rid himself of all the negative, he's denying it, claiming it was "out of context." G-d has given him a great opportunity. It's not too late, Steve. Face up to what you did and grow from it.
#7, part 2 continued
must thaw out my fingers first
T'hilim, psalms, XXXII, 1
Artscroll translation
"...praiseworthy is one whose sin is forgiven, whose sin is covered over."
(in part 1) I wrote that in King Solomon's Mishlei, Proverbs, it's said that one must admit one's sin, to be forgiven, not cover it up.
Such an amazing coincidence. Before I left the house I had been busy with the OU scandal of the new president insulting us veteran olim (immigrants) claiming that we had made aliya for the "wrong reasons," running away from difficult situations, etc. And here I enter King David and King Solomon's discussion on how to do tshuva, repentence, how to be forgiven. Should Savitsky admit his mistake, that he had said insulting things, or should he cover them up "kisu'i chataa," covered up sin.
In Masechet Yoma, daf peh-vav/bet
If everyone already knows, then don't make excuses, admit it. If the sin is something that others don't know about, then one shouldn't broadcast it. It's enough to say: "Chatatiti," I sinned. No need to elaborate. Nobody else's business.
Again he went over the issue that tshuva evolves as we reach higher levels, but of course, one shouldn't obsess.
2-Happy is the man who has done tshuva, repentence. feels clean
Now, I'm not sure how we got into it, but he discussed Lot, who didn't want to return to Avraham, because it was easier to be a relative tzadik (rightous man) in evil Sdom that it would be to be minimally good in Avraham's company. (a reason some people don't make aliya, or get challenging job)
T'hilim--not ready to deal fully with the sin, like someone with a big debt who works out a payment schedule, has started paying, but has plenty left to pay back. Takes the pressure off by asking for forgiveness, but that's not enough, nor full tshuva.
3-4 because I stayed away from divrei Torah, Torah life/things. Reason why David feels he must do tshuva, "When I kept silent...because I kept silent."
******
Kohelet, third chapter, finishing off the "time to's"
For most of us, when we're doing one thing, our mind's on something else. King Shlomo says that there's a time for everything and we must concentrate solely on that one thing at a time.
9- "Ma yitaron ha'oseh ba'asher hu amale?" "What gain, then, has the worker by his toil?" There is a benifit just in doing something. Then Nissan pointed to me, as I did my needlepoint and asked if instead of doing it, would I buy one ready-made. I answered in the negative. I don't need more things to put on the wall , but I do enjoy doing them, keeping busy is the real reward. It's also very calming and helps me focus. That Nissan said is the meaning of Shlomo Hamelech's words.
Also, G-d wants us to take care of today and not to worry about some nebulous/unknown future.
10- Ra'iti et ha'inyan asher natan elokim l'vnei ha'adam la'anot bo." "I have observed the task which G-d has given the sons of man to be concerned/afflicted with" The underlined words are from the same root. answer/interest/torture/afflict
If we keep busy with Torah and mitzvot, we won't have the lesure to flee or be bored. Also, inui, suffering is like a slap, reminder to keep us in line.
11-new subject: "...yafe b'eito..." "beautiful in its time"
Man can't understand what/why G-d has done
Shmuel bet 2, XXI, 12? David asks G-d why he's being punished, (for nothing), and G-d answers that he's receiving the punishment instead of Saul, because Saul is too weak to withstand it, and David is much stronger. The punishment had to be given to someone, and G-d looked for someone strong enough to take it. Even if it's "not fair" one must still accept it, Life isn't fair, but that's the way it is
12- There is no "good" in this world, but do your best and be happy that you passes another test. We don't see the whole picture. *Don't think about future problems, just do what G-d commands.
I'll never forget the first time I baked a cake for my husband. We didn't yet have a proper oven and had recently moved to our apartment in Bayit V'Gan, Jerusalem. I went to a neighbor, an old lady "Bubby Willig," who had grandchildren (today some are famous) my age. I was very nervous that it wouldn't come out well, and I remember that she said: "It has good, delicious things in it, so it will taste delicious." And she was right!
13- satisfaction is a gift from G-d. The idea that we can get satisfaction from the simplest thing (I love hanging out the wash--but don't ask me about the taking in, folding and sorting).
14- G-d gives us a chance, a fresh chance each year. We can clean up our act and do tshuva. The big question: Are you afraid of the thunder, or the being that created/sends it!!?
T'hilim, psalms, XXXII, 1
Artscroll translation
"...praiseworthy is one whose sin is forgiven, whose sin is covered over."
(in part 1) I wrote that in King Solomon's Mishlei, Proverbs, it's said that one must admit one's sin, to be forgiven, not cover it up.
Such an amazing coincidence. Before I left the house I had been busy with the OU scandal of the new president insulting us veteran olim (immigrants) claiming that we had made aliya for the "wrong reasons," running away from difficult situations, etc. And here I enter King David and King Solomon's discussion on how to do tshuva, repentence, how to be forgiven. Should Savitsky admit his mistake, that he had said insulting things, or should he cover them up "kisu'i chataa," covered up sin.
In Masechet Yoma, daf peh-vav/bet
If everyone already knows, then don't make excuses, admit it. If the sin is something that others don't know about, then one shouldn't broadcast it. It's enough to say: "Chatatiti," I sinned. No need to elaborate. Nobody else's business.
Again he went over the issue that tshuva evolves as we reach higher levels, but of course, one shouldn't obsess.
2-Happy is the man who has done tshuva, repentence. feels clean
Now, I'm not sure how we got into it, but he discussed Lot, who didn't want to return to Avraham, because it was easier to be a relative tzadik (rightous man) in evil Sdom that it would be to be minimally good in Avraham's company. (a reason some people don't make aliya, or get challenging job)
T'hilim--not ready to deal fully with the sin, like someone with a big debt who works out a payment schedule, has started paying, but has plenty left to pay back. Takes the pressure off by asking for forgiveness, but that's not enough, nor full tshuva.
3-4 because I stayed away from divrei Torah, Torah life/things. Reason why David feels he must do tshuva, "When I kept silent...because I kept silent."
******
Kohelet, third chapter, finishing off the "time to's"
For most of us, when we're doing one thing, our mind's on something else. King Shlomo says that there's a time for everything and we must concentrate solely on that one thing at a time.
9- "Ma yitaron ha'oseh ba'asher hu amale?" "What gain, then, has the worker by his toil?" There is a benifit just in doing something. Then Nissan pointed to me, as I did my needlepoint and asked if instead of doing it, would I buy one ready-made. I answered in the negative. I don't need more things to put on the wall , but I do enjoy doing them, keeping busy is the real reward. It's also very calming and helps me focus. That Nissan said is the meaning of Shlomo Hamelech's words.
Also, G-d wants us to take care of today and not to worry about some nebulous/unknown future.
10- Ra'iti et ha'inyan asher natan elokim l'vnei ha'adam la'anot bo." "I have observed the task which G-d has given the sons of man to be concerned/afflicted with" The underlined words are from the same root. answer/interest/torture/afflict
If we keep busy with Torah and mitzvot, we won't have the lesure to flee or be bored. Also, inui, suffering is like a slap, reminder to keep us in line.
11-new subject: "...yafe b'eito..." "beautiful in its time"
Man can't understand what/why G-d has done
Shmuel bet 2, XXI, 12? David asks G-d why he's being punished, (for nothing), and G-d answers that he's receiving the punishment instead of Saul, because Saul is too weak to withstand it, and David is much stronger. The punishment had to be given to someone, and G-d looked for someone strong enough to take it. Even if it's "not fair" one must still accept it, Life isn't fair, but that's the way it is
12- There is no "good" in this world, but do your best and be happy that you passes another test. We don't see the whole picture. *Don't think about future problems, just do what G-d commands.
I'll never forget the first time I baked a cake for my husband. We didn't yet have a proper oven and had recently moved to our apartment in Bayit V'Gan, Jerusalem. I went to a neighbor, an old lady "Bubby Willig," who had grandchildren (today some are famous) my age. I was very nervous that it wouldn't come out well, and I remember that she said: "It has good, delicious things in it, so it will taste delicious." And she was right!
13- satisfaction is a gift from G-d. The idea that we can get satisfaction from the simplest thing (I love hanging out the wash--but don't ask me about the taking in, folding and sorting).
14- G-d gives us a chance, a fresh chance each year. We can clean up our act and do tshuva. The big question: Are you afraid of the thunder, or the being that created/sends it!!?
aliya, ascent, moving to Israel
update on the controversy
ou president puts foot in mouth
revealing what I'm sure he didn't plan on saying
sour grapes stinking up
ou convention in Israel
veteran American immigrants
rise in anger
my muse on subject headlines arutz 7 opinion page
received lots of pro responses
even more than usual
no surprise
Savitsky really should admit his mistake
apologize
and resign
ou president puts foot in mouth
revealing what I'm sure he didn't plan on saying
sour grapes stinking up
ou convention in Israel
veteran American immigrants
rise in anger
my muse on subject headlines arutz 7 opinion page
received lots of pro responses
even more than usual
no surprise
Savitsky really should admit his mistake
apologize
and resign
Sunday, November 28, 2004
T'hilim and Kohelet #7 part 1
Came in all rushed, so as usual missed the first few words, but this time I was well-equiped with my needlepoint.
T'hilim XXXIII new chapter
importance of admitting mistakes
We looked at Mishlei, Proverbs XXVIII, 13, by King Solomon, to compare (father and son)
"One who covers up sin, won't prosper/succeed, but the one who confesses and stops will obtain mercy."
In contrast, his father wrote:
sorry to leave you in suspense--the English translation I have next to me is bad, and I'd like to finally have dinner.
I'll return later with part 2
T'hilim XXXIII new chapter
importance of admitting mistakes
We looked at Mishlei, Proverbs XXVIII, 13, by King Solomon, to compare (father and son)
"One who covers up sin, won't prosper/succeed, but the one who confesses and stops will obtain mercy."
In contrast, his father wrote:
sorry to leave you in suspense--the English translation I have next to me is bad, and I'd like to finally have dinner.
I'll return later with part 2
someone put his foot in it
OU bigshot put his foot in it
basically called us veteran American immigrants
a bunch of losers
that we made aliya
for the "wrong reasons"
lots of email action
we already got a letter from OU rabbi, friend of his
he can't believe his friend meant what he was quoted as saying
for sure the guy was exhausted/jet-lagged
but what comes out
in those conditions is
more the truth
the filters are off
that man's true feelings
came out
he must resign and apologize
basically called us veteran American immigrants
a bunch of losers
that we made aliya
for the "wrong reasons"
lots of email action
we already got a letter from OU rabbi, friend of his
he can't believe his friend meant what he was quoted as saying
for sure the guy was exhausted/jet-lagged
but what comes out
in those conditions is
more the truth
the filters are off
that man's true feelings
came out
he must resign and apologize
Saturday, November 27, 2004
unwinding
unwinding
unraveling
trying to sort out
and make sense (cents and dollars would be nice, too)
of Shabbat's experiences
met, well not personally
more like
observed and listened to
people in the news
my sort of news
about things
happening here in Israel
very informative
just watching and listening
of course
they don't know
that I muse and meander
they don't know
I blog
and they don't know
that some of my meanders and musings
are read by others
they don't know
that I'm more than
just a fat, ol' middle-aged
tag along
there's lots going on in my head
can't really write
my husband's
waiting his turn
unraveling
trying to sort out
and make sense (cents and dollars would be nice, too)
of Shabbat's experiences
met, well not personally
more like
observed and listened to
people in the news
my sort of news
about things
happening here in Israel
very informative
just watching and listening
of course
they don't know
that I muse and meander
they don't know
I blog
and they don't know
that some of my meanders and musings
are read by others
they don't know
that I'm more than
just a fat, ol' middle-aged
tag along
there's lots going on in my head
can't really write
my husband's
waiting his turn
Friday, November 26, 2004
Yaakov, Jacob
Jacob, or all the forefathers,
the most change
when young, quiet, passive, good boy, mamma's favorite
then left home
showed strength and cunning
underneath
build family
4 wives
12 sons
1 mentioned daughter
quite a balagan, hectic in the family home
then tragedy
Dina raped
sons, brothers
took over
Yaakov again quiet
just chastised them
they they had
gone too far
endangered them all
but later
end of his life
he blesses them
to separate
and one of the two
most "militant"
becomes the
priestly tribe
maybe we need
that power
in religion
the most change
when young, quiet, passive, good boy, mamma's favorite
then left home
showed strength and cunning
underneath
build family
4 wives
12 sons
1 mentioned daughter
quite a balagan, hectic in the family home
then tragedy
Dina raped
sons, brothers
took over
Yaakov again quiet
just chastised them
they they had
gone too far
endangered them all
but later
end of his life
he blesses them
to separate
and one of the two
most "militant"
becomes the
priestly tribe
maybe we need
that power
in religion
Thursday, November 25, 2004
welcome
hearty welcome
for anyone
peeking for the first time
don't be shy
explore
comment
door's open
please
meander in
for anyone
peeking for the first time
don't be shy
explore
comment
door's open
please
meander in
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Chilblains
a million years ago
when I was young
I'd read lots of books
and sometimes
I didn't fully understand
every word
chilblains
had no idea
until one winter
plagued by
strangely infected fingers and toes
I actually
went to a doctor
the verdict
no infections
--chilblains--
actually a form of frostbite
makes cleaning the freezer
an experience that lasts
at least
until my fingers return
to their normal size
so today
after tremping, yesterday
in the freezing cold
only the pool, steamroom and sauna
brought my extremities
back to life this morning
so I went shopping
for warm boots
with a friend
of uninhibited taste
and common sense
who found me boots
what must be
the latest style for the under 15's
the under 20's
and maybe a little older than that
I may be the
oldest wearing them
but I'm also the oldest trempistit on the roads
and
most important
they are
warm
thanks darling
when I was young
I'd read lots of books
and sometimes
I didn't fully understand
every word
chilblains
had no idea
until one winter
plagued by
strangely infected fingers and toes
I actually
went to a doctor
the verdict
no infections
--chilblains--
actually a form of frostbite
makes cleaning the freezer
an experience that lasts
at least
until my fingers return
to their normal size
so today
after tremping, yesterday
in the freezing cold
only the pool, steamroom and sauna
brought my extremities
back to life this morning
so I went shopping
for warm boots
with a friend
of uninhibited taste
and common sense
who found me boots
what must be
the latest style for the under 15's
the under 20's
and maybe a little older than that
I may be the
oldest wearing them
but I'm also the oldest trempistit on the roads
and
most important
they are
warm
thanks darling
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
middle of the week
middle of the week
of a long week
by Sunday night
I was sure
Wednesday was upon us
and it's not yet Wednesday
and I'm ready
for a quiet weekend
must pack up
for tomorrow's adventures
and must sign out
while the lids of my eyes
can still be
rolled up
of a long week
by Sunday night
I was sure
Wednesday was upon us
and it's not yet Wednesday
and I'm ready
for a quiet weekend
must pack up
for tomorrow's adventures
and must sign out
while the lids of my eyes
can still be
rolled up
frozen morning
over twenty years ago
when we planned our house
we researched
passive solar heating
and thought
we were so clever
a long house
facing south
to catch the summer rays
free heating
but
the books from abroad
neglected to tell us
of the winter winds
from the south
that rattle
the double windows
insecure in
their duplicated frames
and no where
did I see
warnings
of eastern windows
so perfect for seeing
the glorious sunrise
and also
perfect
for heating
overheating the house
in the summer
and we never knew
when planning that is
that a long house
so inefficient to heat
stacked one half
on the other
would have been cozier
and more cost effective
instead
an empty attic
and long lonely halls
these regrets
triggered
by this frozen morning
brrrrrrrrrrr
instant winter
seasons change so fast
like the moods of the ADHD
or the bi-polar
suddenly
fans are off
heaters must be found
fingers and toes
swelling
brrrrrrrr
need
the flannel sheets
and woolen robe
how
could I
have ever
complained about summer?
Monday, November 22, 2004
sung to the tune of...
most sincere apologies
"tremping in the rain"
tremping in the rain
just tremping in the rain
what an annoying feeling
dripping wet, again
it's dripping down my nose
and soaking all my toes
and the sun's in my heart
and my eyes on the road
let the stormy clouds chase
all the terrorists from this place
come on with the rain
some mud splashed on my face
I must be insane
just tremping,
yes tremping in the rain
"Singin' in the Rain"
music by Nacio Herb Brown; lyrics by Arthur Freed
Singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain.
What a glorious feelin'.
I'm happy again.
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above.
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love.
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place.
Come on with the rain.
I've a smile on my face.
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain,
And singin',
just singin' in the rain.
"tremping in the rain"
tremping in the rain
just tremping in the rain
what an annoying feeling
dripping wet, again
it's dripping down my nose
and soaking all my toes
and the sun's in my heart
and my eyes on the road
let the stormy clouds chase
all the terrorists from this place
come on with the rain
some mud splashed on my face
I must be insane
just tremping,
yes tremping in the rain
"Singin' in the Rain"
music by Nacio Herb Brown; lyrics by Arthur Freed
Singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain.
What a glorious feelin'.
I'm happy again.
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above.
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love.
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place.
Come on with the rain.
I've a smile on my face.
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain,
And singin',
just singin' in the rain.
reflecting on #6 again
All I'm doing is re-inventing the wheel. I'm 100% certain that wiser and more knowledgable people have thought and even recorded these ideas many times over the centuries. It's just that I'm learning all this for the very first time. And as you know, t'hilim and kohelet were both written thousands of years ago. But I like to learn and especially think, and these two books are the greatest fertilizer for parched minds.
King David and his son King Solomon actually have an awful lot in common. They came to the same concludions.
King David and his son King Solomon actually have an awful lot in common. They came to the same concludions.
- There's nothing wrong, to be afraid of, when experiencing "bad" things
- The good and the bad are connected
- G-d is always with us, no matter what's happening
We start with the father. In many of the t'hilim (there are 150), it's written/stated that "after sorrow comes joy." I'll take one of the best known, among those who "bench" on Shabbat (say the prayer after eating on Shabbat.) On Shabbat we preface the prayer with T'hilim #126, which starts with the term "Shir Hama'alot. A Song of the Ascents." I apologize for the translation; I checked in a couple of places, and nothing sounds like real English, and the Hebrew has some "not-everyday" words. I'll try to combine to make it more comprehensible: 5-Those who sow/plant in tears will reap/harvest in joy. 6- Though he goes on his way weeping, he who carries the (heavy) weight of the seed, he (the same one) will return in joy, carrying his sheaves.
These same thoughts/predictions/observations repeat in others, such as chapter 30, line 6: For His anger is for just a moment, His favor for a lifetime; weeping may tarry/stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
From here we get to one of the most famous passages in all of Kohelet. "There is a time..." Difficulties and tragedies help us appreciate the good we have, and sometimes we only realize it's good because of the difficulties we've experienced.
We won't have food/fruit/grains if we don't schlep the seeds, till the soil, plant, irrigate etc. And it is very hard work. Sometimes G-d punishes us, but it's not forever. Yes, "there is a season" for it all.
choosing
too much to write about
weather
t'hilim and kohelet
but
best to start
with shortest
already
hours on the computer
closed the double windows
at least
those I could reach
rained again
fingers chilled
must
take out heaters
find timers
all by my
lonesome
later
I'll tell you
that
King David and son Solomon
really wrote the same message
now,
to leave you
in suspense.....
tune in
later
weather
t'hilim and kohelet
but
best to start
with shortest
already
hours on the computer
closed the double windows
at least
those I could reach
rained again
fingers chilled
must
take out heaters
find timers
all by my
lonesome
later
I'll tell you
that
King David and son Solomon
really wrote the same message
now,
to leave you
in suspense.....
tune in
later
Sunday, November 21, 2004
part 2 of #6 sounds pretty suspicious, but it's ok
I think we left Saul trying to capture David, even though David had done the heroic thing and just saved a city from Philistine take-over, but Saul's egomaniac me-power was more important to him. Just when he aaaaaaaallllllmooooooost caught him, an urgent message arrived that the philistines were attacking some where else and he, the king, was needed. Now for his big dilemma: David his rival, patiently waiting successor, or the enemy of his nation the Philistines. Hard decision. While you're trying to guess, reminds me of how hard the government works, and the amount invested in investigating YESHA people as "possible rebels, whatever" instead of using all the country's power against our real enemy the Arab terrorists. Sharon now is busy trying to take over every independent mind in the Likud; his power is the most important thing.
Now what will King Saul decide? His ego or his country? Tough choice when you're a lame duck king. Well, hard to believe, but he chose his country. Kol hakavod, but too little too late, and his kingship didn't last too long, and his children were out of power.
25- That's why David wrote: "be strong and let your heart be filled with courage; all of you waiting for G-d." Wow! that's some happy ending. but it's just a chapter in a long book
Kohelet, finishing off the second chapter
Strangely constructed sentence. Should we enjoy food or not? The answer is that we should if it's the fruit of our labors. We should work for what we have. Getting back to previous questions, how much do we owe our children? Are we doing them a favor if we give them everythign? according to this, no. Food you grow and cook has a special taste. The enjoyment is permanent, sipuk,
brings me to Yaakov, how he's like two different people, the nebich who lived with his parents and the businessman, leader, patriarch once he was on his own. On Shabbat I ate at neighbors where we discussed the parsha and this difference was one of the subjects, so the fact that it was on my mind, was not from the shiur this morning.
One shouldn't get into debt for pleasure, and one shouldn't save too much. Enjoy what you have, don't suffer for tomorrow. sameach b'chelko be happy with what you have. That's being rich. The talent of enjoying what you have is a gift from G-d. Man works for himself, the work itself is the gift. In Beireishit I, 11 G-d created the trees so that the entire tree would be the fruit, edible, but somehow it came out of the ground differently, that the fruit would grow from the tree.
Shmuel alef, XVI, 1, G-d told Shmuel that Saul had to be deposed/replaced. He was a disaster as a king. Shmuel refused, telling G-d that he was afraid of Saul, that Saul would kill him. Now really, he was afraid of a man and not of G-d? That's why he died young, big sin. It's like the people who are terrified to wear a sports jacket at a black tie dinner, like they'll be struck by lightening--dead for such a sin, but they have no problem eating traif at the same dinner. Then G-d had to give him very specific instructions to help him out.
Not like David, Nachshon decended from Peretz and those daring women.
One who's too cautious saving and not enjoying what he has, big mistake.
Chapter 3 the famous "time for.."
We have to find G-d no matter what's going on, happy or sad, sick or healthy. It's all part of life and we have to see the good. Contrasts, one's needed for the other.
Everything has a time.
Shmuel Bet V, 20, the root, peh, resh tzadi, meaning to push out, jump out used twice, once for winning a war and once when Uza extended his had to grab and was punished with death.
Now what will King Saul decide? His ego or his country? Tough choice when you're a lame duck king. Well, hard to believe, but he chose his country. Kol hakavod, but too little too late, and his kingship didn't last too long, and his children were out of power.
25- That's why David wrote: "be strong and let your heart be filled with courage; all of you waiting for G-d." Wow! that's some happy ending. but it's just a chapter in a long book
Kohelet, finishing off the second chapter
Strangely constructed sentence. Should we enjoy food or not? The answer is that we should if it's the fruit of our labors. We should work for what we have. Getting back to previous questions, how much do we owe our children? Are we doing them a favor if we give them everythign? according to this, no. Food you grow and cook has a special taste. The enjoyment is permanent, sipuk,
brings me to Yaakov, how he's like two different people, the nebich who lived with his parents and the businessman, leader, patriarch once he was on his own. On Shabbat I ate at neighbors where we discussed the parsha and this difference was one of the subjects, so the fact that it was on my mind, was not from the shiur this morning.
One shouldn't get into debt for pleasure, and one shouldn't save too much. Enjoy what you have, don't suffer for tomorrow. sameach b'chelko be happy with what you have. That's being rich. The talent of enjoying what you have is a gift from G-d. Man works for himself, the work itself is the gift. In Beireishit I, 11 G-d created the trees so that the entire tree would be the fruit, edible, but somehow it came out of the ground differently, that the fruit would grow from the tree.
Shmuel alef, XVI, 1, G-d told Shmuel that Saul had to be deposed/replaced. He was a disaster as a king. Shmuel refused, telling G-d that he was afraid of Saul, that Saul would kill him. Now really, he was afraid of a man and not of G-d? That's why he died young, big sin. It's like the people who are terrified to wear a sports jacket at a black tie dinner, like they'll be struck by lightening--dead for such a sin, but they have no problem eating traif at the same dinner. Then G-d had to give him very specific instructions to help him out.
Not like David, Nachshon decended from Peretz and those daring women.
One who's too cautious saving and not enjoying what he has, big mistake.
Chapter 3 the famous "time for.."
We have to find G-d no matter what's going on, happy or sad, sick or healthy. It's all part of life and we have to see the good. Contrasts, one's needed for the other.
Everything has a time.
Shmuel Bet V, 20, the root, peh, resh tzadi, meaning to push out, jump out used twice, once for winning a war and once when Uza extended his had to grab and was punished with death.
very, very, very strange
I almost went into a total panic. Thought my part one report of the morning's learning was lost in cyberspace. Somehow that and remiss got mixed in order.
remiss?
remiss?
are we remiss
to live life to its fullest?
appreciate
family and friends?
take advantage
of every opportunity?
"Life is wonderful; better than ever...
it was
almost worth it"
said a friend
in remission
#6 T'hilim and Kohelet part 1
I forgot my needlepoint, so I was a bit tense as we started, didn't know how it would effect my concentration. It usually keeps me from "over particiapating," but since we had a low turn-out, I was able to talk for all those absent.
We're still on XXXI, 16 aiming to finish that chapter. As usual, it took me a bit to get into it.
Back to the concept of busha, embarrassment. It's a major impetus for tshuva repentence. Even when we're sure we must have had repented for a certain sin, suddenly we feel embarrasssed again by it. How could that be when once should be enough? The Rav Tzadok from Lublin says it's like when you're in high school you relearn the history you learned in elementary school, but on a higher level. Busha is very important for the growth of a person, standards and values. Then there was something about busha becoming fire, then tears and jealousy, but I somehow was out of it.
Reward in olam haba, the world to come. We shouldn't try to figure out the relative merit/value/weight of mitzvot and sin. We can't calculate and shouldn't even attempt.
21- m'ruchsei ish, pride of man, heights
3 main languages for three different reasons/purposes
Latin-war
Greek-talk, philosophy
Hebrew- prayer
22- David thanks G-d for saving him, and we went into Shmuel alef XXIII, 1 to learn the story of how David rescued a city and then entered it, and when Saul discovered that he was there, he went after him, even though he had done a great thing for the people. Then we learned some mishnayot debating if one can sacrifice one Jew to save another. Like the nazis asked the Judenrat, or even like now if we can destrooy yishuvim to try to save others. The bottom line from the mishna is NO.
end of part one--I'm freezing
We're still on XXXI, 16 aiming to finish that chapter. As usual, it took me a bit to get into it.
Back to the concept of busha, embarrassment. It's a major impetus for tshuva repentence. Even when we're sure we must have had repented for a certain sin, suddenly we feel embarrasssed again by it. How could that be when once should be enough? The Rav Tzadok from Lublin says it's like when you're in high school you relearn the history you learned in elementary school, but on a higher level. Busha is very important for the growth of a person, standards and values. Then there was something about busha becoming fire, then tears and jealousy, but I somehow was out of it.
Reward in olam haba, the world to come. We shouldn't try to figure out the relative merit/value/weight of mitzvot and sin. We can't calculate and shouldn't even attempt.
21- m'ruchsei ish, pride of man, heights
3 main languages for three different reasons/purposes
Latin-war
Greek-talk, philosophy
Hebrew- prayer
22- David thanks G-d for saving him, and we went into Shmuel alef XXIII, 1 to learn the story of how David rescued a city and then entered it, and when Saul discovered that he was there, he went after him, even though he had done a great thing for the people. Then we learned some mishnayot debating if one can sacrifice one Jew to save another. Like the nazis asked the Judenrat, or even like now if we can destrooy yishuvim to try to save others. The bottom line from the mishna is NO.
end of part one--I'm freezing
risky business
risky business
to hang wash
in winter
when
I won't
be home
a few hours
but
considering
the recently pinked
male underwear
worth the risk
*** bonus points
to anyone
who can connect
that title
to a lantsman***
to hang wash
in winter
when
I won't
be home
a few hours
but
considering
the recently pinked
male underwear
worth the risk
*** bonus points
to anyone
who can connect
that title
to a lantsman***
Saturday, November 20, 2004
curious
just wondering
while at neighbors
discussed the parsha
Torah portion of the week
the stones Yaakov took,
then
toight researching
King David and Goliath
David took stones
were they the same?
while at neighbors
discussed the parsha
Torah portion of the week
the stones Yaakov took,
then
toight researching
King David and Goliath
David took stones
were they the same?
Shavua Tov, A Good Week
Shavua Tov
good week
to all
after Shabbat
that got
progressively
better
nice
to be part
of a community
family
friends
good week
to all
after Shabbat
that got
progressively
better
nice
to be part
of a community
family
friends
Friday, November 19, 2004
the son in the jungle
my son's in the jungle
called from the wild
none of my fears
loves to scamper and climb
dances on tree tops
with the confidence of two
that's how I know for sure
where mine went to
my son's in the jungle
I can't imagine why
he left many months ago
I want to cry
getting ready
quiet Shabbat
empty house
but still
must ready it
to welcome
the queen
the peace
didn't
buy myself
flowers
strolling
strolling
through blogland
next blog
perverse
next blog
childish
next blog
all goy
next blog
for faggots
next blog
not for me
all I wanted
was to
leave a
calling card
but
somehow landed
in the wrong neighborhood
6 days
week's ending
with a bang
pre-Shabbat
always more
work
stress
than any other
still
no idea
what I'll do
hoping
my baby
will stay home
with me
but
if not
it'll still be
Shabbat
with a bang
pre-Shabbat
always more
work
stress
than any other
still
no idea
what I'll do
hoping
my baby
will stay home
with me
but
if not
it'll still be
Shabbat
Thursday, November 18, 2004
walk or sleep
made my son
birthday cake
with lots of
chocolate icing
a bit too much
chocolate icing
and it sat
in a bowl
and
spoon by spoon
nibble by nibble
the bowl emptied
quickly
painlessly
and now
all those calories
need
to be
shaken off
but
bedtime
so if
I try to
shake off
the calories
I won't be
tired
enough
to sleep
and there's still
more cake
waiting patiently
on the table
for....
birthday cake
with lots of
chocolate icing
a bit too much
chocolate icing
and it sat
in a bowl
and
spoon by spoon
nibble by nibble
the bowl emptied
quickly
painlessly
and now
all those calories
need
to be
shaken off
but
bedtime
so if
I try to
shake off
the calories
I won't be
tired
enough
to sleep
and there's still
more cake
waiting patiently
on the table
for....
schizophrenic sky
two seasons
two skies
in one glance
to the left
black and stormy
to the right
pure blue
with a hint of clouds
so perfectly formed
realer than real
like some
illustrator
trying to show up G-d
schizophrenic sky
welded together
seamlessly
two skies
in one glance
to the left
black and stormy
to the right
pure blue
with a hint of clouds
so perfectly formed
realer than real
like some
illustrator
trying to show up G-d
schizophrenic sky
welded together
seamlessly
this week's haftara
Chazal, the sages, say that we're in this world to correct the sins, mistakes, of the past. This week's haftara, the portion generally from "Prophets and Writings" of the Bible, is so modern. It's all about politics and power.
Many of us ask how come even the best, most moral, patriotic politicians jump off the cliff into immoral, dangerous policies. I recently signed up for an email "lesson" in the haftarot, since I really know very little about them.
I just had to quote from it, with attribution at the end, so if you want to sign up, all the info's there.
When will we have a true leader for good in high office. What happens to the politicians when the sit in that "chair?"
Yeravam could not see himself forgoing his respect for Rechavam's sake. He conceivably reasoned that the king must display total authority and not be perceived as subservient to anyone. However, the Sages reveal that this reasoning was truly rooted in arrogance and unwillingness to show others proper honor and respect. This character flaw created his threatening illusion and propelled him to alienate his kingdom. We now realize that what began as a subtle insensitivity towards Shlomo Hamelech eventually developed into a full grown split in our nation. Yeravam did perform a meritorious act but showed disrespect for authority. Hashem granted Yeravam the throne but tested his ability to manage such authority. Yeravam succumbed to the temptation of power and could not forego his own honor. This persistent drive blinded him and misled him to undermine his own power and destroy his kingdom. (see Maharzu's comment to Vayikra Rabba 12:5) Regretfully, we learn the power of a character flaw and see how one person's sense of honor and respect destroyed our nation and exiled our Ten lost tribes.
Haftorah, Copyright © 2004 by Rabbi Dovid Siegel and Torah.org. The authoris Rosh Kollel (Dean) of Kollel Toras Chaim, Kiryat Sefer, Israel.Rabbi Siegel's topic-of-interest lectures are available through KollelToras Chesed's Tape of the Month Club.Join the Jewish Learning Revolution! Torah.org: The Judaism Site bringsthis and a host of other classes to you every week. Visit http://torah.orgor email learn@torah.org to get your own free copy of this mailing.Project Genesis - Torah.org is a recognized charity and depends upon yoursupport. Please help us by visiting http://torah.org/support/ forinformation on class dedications, memorials, annual giving and more.
Many of us ask how come even the best, most moral, patriotic politicians jump off the cliff into immoral, dangerous policies. I recently signed up for an email "lesson" in the haftarot, since I really know very little about them.
I just had to quote from it, with attribution at the end, so if you want to sign up, all the info's there.
When will we have a true leader for good in high office. What happens to the politicians when the sit in that "chair?"
Yeravam could not see himself forgoing his respect for Rechavam's sake. He conceivably reasoned that the king must display total authority and not be perceived as subservient to anyone. However, the Sages reveal that this reasoning was truly rooted in arrogance and unwillingness to show others proper honor and respect. This character flaw created his threatening illusion and propelled him to alienate his kingdom. We now realize that what began as a subtle insensitivity towards Shlomo Hamelech eventually developed into a full grown split in our nation. Yeravam did perform a meritorious act but showed disrespect for authority. Hashem granted Yeravam the throne but tested his ability to manage such authority. Yeravam succumbed to the temptation of power and could not forego his own honor. This persistent drive blinded him and misled him to undermine his own power and destroy his kingdom. (see Maharzu's comment to Vayikra Rabba 12:5) Regretfully, we learn the power of a character flaw and see how one person's sense of honor and respect destroyed our nation and exiled our Ten lost tribes.
Haftorah, Copyright © 2004 by Rabbi Dovid Siegel and Torah.org. The authoris Rosh Kollel (Dean) of Kollel Toras Chaim, Kiryat Sefer, Israel.Rabbi Siegel's topic-of-interest lectures are available through KollelToras Chesed's Tape of the Month Club.Join the Jewish Learning Revolution! Torah.org: The Judaism Site bringsthis and a host of other classes to you every week. Visit http://torah.orgor email learn@torah.org to get your own free copy of this mailing.Project Genesis - Torah.org is a recognized charity and depends upon yoursupport. Please help us by visiting http://torah.org/support/ forinformation on class dedications, memorials, annual giving and more.
questions
interesting
latest musing
about crucial question--antisemitism
so many comments
hit a nerve with
more than
usual
didn't know
lots of Christians
read Arutz 7 and my musings
one friend
reminded me
the answer's in the Bible
"Eisav hated Jacob"
written in past tense
does that mean
can end
should end
when will it end?
latest musing
about crucial question--antisemitism
so many comments
hit a nerve with
more than
usual
didn't know
lots of Christians
read Arutz 7 and my musings
one friend
reminded me
the answer's in the Bible
"Eisav hated Jacob"
written in past tense
does that mean
can end
should end
when will it end?
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
caught by surprise
rain was predicted
talk of rain
but talk's cheap
sometime's wrong
and the
threatening black clouds
are more
like the lion
in "The Wizzard of Oz"
in Jerusalem
the sky was getting
blue and clear
figured the prdictions
were hot air
warming us
in the Holy City
on the way
to babysit
tired, hegzamti
did too much
pool, walking
and walking
rested in the car
noticed
black, like
smoke from a fire
to the north of us
dozed
then suddenly
woke to the
swish of windshield wipers
caught by surprise
real rain
Baruch Hashem
ye ol' baglady
so many ways
to embarrass the kids
a favorite
is schlepping
more than
one bag
better for
ye ol' back
balance
right, left, center, an'
now?
what's
most important
image
or back?
to embarrass the kids
a favorite
is schlepping
more than
one bag
better for
ye ol' back
balance
right, left, center, an'
now?
what's
most important
image
or back?
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
calling Murphy
anti-drought tactics
worked for two years
no umbrella
yep
stood out
unprotected
increased percipitation
this year
constipated sky
Cousin Mickey
promised raindance
from his
wheel chair
still waiting
wash dried
outside
what will
tempt
Murphy?
let's pray
to G-d
worked for two years
no umbrella
yep
stood out
unprotected
increased percipitation
this year
constipated sky
Cousin Mickey
promised raindance
from his
wheel chair
still waiting
wash dried
outside
what will
tempt
Murphy?
let's pray
to G-d
white sky
sky's white
one big cloud
like dirty cotton balls
not
pure snow
mountains
in the distance
blurred
air's
still warm
indecisive winds
confusion
ambivalence
winter'd
rather not
but
summer's
gone
past its best
over ripe
not good
loss of appetite
as we wait
for
clouds to form
from
indistinguishable
mass
shouldn't complain, but
yes,
I know
been complaining
about lack of rain
but
now more clouds
just on
the day
laundry
should, could
be flying
flip flapping
drying
now
it's spinning
must decide
outside
or inside
where should
the laundry
dry?
I know
been complaining
about lack of rain
but
now more clouds
just on
the day
laundry
should, could
be flying
flip flapping
drying
now
it's spinning
must decide
outside
or inside
where should
the laundry
dry?
Monday, November 15, 2004
Women, the parsha and King Solomon
Yes, this green is usually for the Torah stuff.
Basically this is about my theory concerning the maternal antecedents of King Solomon. The parsha this week, the portion of the Torah, Bible, read on Shabbat mentions the first of the special women. These are the women who forced themselves into the line to make KS who built the Beit HaMikdash.
I hope that I'm not leaving any out.
First is Leah, the sister Yaakov wasn't interested in. But Leah convinced her younger and prettier sister Rachel to let her marry Yaakov. I don't think it was their father who masterminded it, I'm sure that it was Leah, who didn't care that her reputation could be tarnished. For her it was worth marrying Yaakov and having his sons.
Next was Tamar. Tamar married Leah's grandson, son of Yehuda. He died and so did the next son she married. Apparently she was supposed to join the line. Then she was supposed to be married to the next son, who was rather young. She waited and realized that her in-laws wanted her to be forgotten. She was determined to have a child from the special line, so she made a plan to seduce Yehuda. She disguised herself as a prostitute and managed to seduce him. For payment he left her a deposit, to be redeemed later, something recognizable. When he tried to pay her, not only couldn't he find her, but people who knew the area claimed that there wasn't a prostitute there. So he figured that if she wanted the money, she'd find a way, Then big scandal, his daughter-in-law Tamar was pregnant, even though she hadn't had a live husband for years. He went to see her, and she showed proof of who the father of the child was. He recongized what he had left as a deposit. And he apologized saying that she's the real tzadik. She had twins. One of those twins was an atecendent of Boaz.
Boaz was a rich man in Beit lechem. His relative's widow, Naomi, came back from Moav with her daughter-in-law, Ruth. The women were poverty-stricken. None of the relatives wanted to give them any of the family property or marry the convert daughter-in-law. Boaz was the only one to agree to try to help and let them have the scraps of his harvest. Naomi knew that the only way to rejoin the family was to have a child with him, and since she was too old, she sent Ruth to seduce him, which she did, and like Tamar, got pregnant from one try. Her son was the Grandfather of David.
Now David was the King. Batsheva was married to someone else who was away, in the army. She wanted to join that line, (and from what we read in the Bible David's sons from his other wives were no great shakes, certainly nothing to be proud of.) Batsheva knew she could do better, so she decided to seduce the king. She bathed where she knew he could see her. And he did. The first child they conceived died, but the later married after she was widowed, and Solomon was born. David is blamed as the aggressor in this by everyone, but me.
With the help of Nathan the prophet, Batsheva manages to get her son appointed as successor.
Behind every great man there's a tough mother, grandmother.....
Basically this is about my theory concerning the maternal antecedents of King Solomon. The parsha this week, the portion of the Torah, Bible, read on Shabbat mentions the first of the special women. These are the women who forced themselves into the line to make KS who built the Beit HaMikdash.
I hope that I'm not leaving any out.
First is Leah, the sister Yaakov wasn't interested in. But Leah convinced her younger and prettier sister Rachel to let her marry Yaakov. I don't think it was their father who masterminded it, I'm sure that it was Leah, who didn't care that her reputation could be tarnished. For her it was worth marrying Yaakov and having his sons.
Next was Tamar. Tamar married Leah's grandson, son of Yehuda. He died and so did the next son she married. Apparently she was supposed to join the line. Then she was supposed to be married to the next son, who was rather young. She waited and realized that her in-laws wanted her to be forgotten. She was determined to have a child from the special line, so she made a plan to seduce Yehuda. She disguised herself as a prostitute and managed to seduce him. For payment he left her a deposit, to be redeemed later, something recognizable. When he tried to pay her, not only couldn't he find her, but people who knew the area claimed that there wasn't a prostitute there. So he figured that if she wanted the money, she'd find a way, Then big scandal, his daughter-in-law Tamar was pregnant, even though she hadn't had a live husband for years. He went to see her, and she showed proof of who the father of the child was. He recongized what he had left as a deposit. And he apologized saying that she's the real tzadik. She had twins. One of those twins was an atecendent of Boaz.
Boaz was a rich man in Beit lechem. His relative's widow, Naomi, came back from Moav with her daughter-in-law, Ruth. The women were poverty-stricken. None of the relatives wanted to give them any of the family property or marry the convert daughter-in-law. Boaz was the only one to agree to try to help and let them have the scraps of his harvest. Naomi knew that the only way to rejoin the family was to have a child with him, and since she was too old, she sent Ruth to seduce him, which she did, and like Tamar, got pregnant from one try. Her son was the Grandfather of David.
Now David was the King. Batsheva was married to someone else who was away, in the army. She wanted to join that line, (and from what we read in the Bible David's sons from his other wives were no great shakes, certainly nothing to be proud of.) Batsheva knew she could do better, so she decided to seduce the king. She bathed where she knew he could see her. And he did. The first child they conceived died, but the later married after she was widowed, and Solomon was born. David is blamed as the aggressor in this by everyone, but me.
With the help of Nathan the prophet, Batsheva manages to get her son appointed as successor.
Behind every great man there's a tough mother, grandmother.....
politics
it's all politics
people manipulation
no ideals
for too many
power for
power's sake
doing it
for themselves
but calling themselves
leaders
farce
perversion
now
from
ordinary people
small
green sprouts
to lead
the hungry people
to wear?
wear
what to wear
when weather's
almost winter
sweater?
jacket?
both?
water-proof hat?
clouds to the south
pale
not dark grey
though
predictors
from the west
if west dark
rain
but immediate
won't tell me
about two or three
hours hence
but
time to dress
gambling
on the weather
what to wear
when weather's
almost winter
sweater?
jacket?
both?
water-proof hat?
clouds to the south
pale
not dark grey
though
predictors
from the west
if west dark
rain
but immediate
won't tell me
about two or three
hours hence
but
time to dress
gambling
on the weather
more on #5
the difficulties of affluence
someone mentioned a cousin, born filthy rich who died penniless (drugs, alcohol) in the street,
then she though better of it and said that his brother was ok
From kohelet we see that the childraising theories, how much to give a child, how much to challenge him, have been in conflict forever. KD had a hard life and seemed to do better than his son, but he died relatively young for Bible times, and he died "old," a rare adjective. The stress took a toll. He complained, when still young, when writing t'hilim, of eye problems. The other important Biblical figure, Yitzchak, who was blind, according to medrashim (which I can't stand) was damaged by events at the akeida, sacrifice that wasnt'. Maybe it was stress, like KD. I remember knowing, for a short time, a blind woman who lost her sight after the death of a brother. Post traumatic stress is physical.
winter?
hints
of winter
drift
through the windows
eastern windows
from where
the sun rises
and seasons
change
first hints
blown in
the wind
windows
closed
one by one
winter
welcomed
but locked out
will
the cold winds
bring
the rain?
of winter
drift
through the windows
eastern windows
from where
the sun rises
and seasons
change
first hints
blown in
the wind
windows
closed
one by one
winter
welcomed
but locked out
will
the cold winds
bring
the rain?
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