Israel's National Mourning Memorial Day, One People

Growing up in Bell Park Gardens, Bayside, NY, post-World War Two I don't remember anything about Memorial Day, except that it was a long weekend. Here in Israel it's a day of National Mourning, and even young children are exposed to the "nasty fact" that there is evil and people die.

As a child I knew very well that people die. Between the ages of almost three and three and a half, I had lost both maternal grandparents and an uncle. I have strong memories of those grandparents. Then when I was about twelve another uncle died, but none of them died in battle, nor did I grow up hearing anything about the Nazis or the Holocaust.

Life in Israel is rooted in reality. Children are taken to funerals, cemeteries and memorial ceremonies. They are taught about real people who had been killed fighting for Israel's independence and continued existence. They are taught about real people of all ages murdered by Arab terrorists.

Today is a day of national mourning for the soldiers and victims of terror attacks,  Soldiers and Terror Victims Memorial Day. Last night I ended up attending a very moving, well produced ceremony in Jerusalem. I missed being home in Shiloh, where most of the stories would be about people I had known. But instead of feeling like an outsider, attending that Jerusalem ceremony just reminded me how we are one nation, one people, one family.

Waving Flags on The Roads

יזבור Yizkur REMEMBER
On the stage of the Yom Zikaron Memorial Ceremony in Shiloh

Today is Israel's Memorial Day for Soldiers and Victims of Arab Terror. I really like the fact that Memorial Day and Independence days are connected, one after the other. I think it's a lesson for us to remember.

Of course one can't have children only talking of the dead, those killed in the Holocaust, which was last week's memorial day, and then today and last night's programs about those killed by our enemies. So it has become a custom for some of the older school children in my area to stand on the road and wave Israeli flags.

I took these photos yesterday at Givat Assaf, the junction to Beit El.

Becoming a "Real Israeli"

I've heard what I'm going to say from many people. The family of a Begin Prize winner said it, too:

There is something about losing a family member or friend to one of Israel's wars or Arab terrorism etc. and joining the masses of the Israeli bereaved that makes one become "a real Israeli." 

True, it's a terrible rite of passage into the Israeli culture and society.  It's a unifying trauma that happens to all stratum of Israeli society, rich, poor, religious, secular, new-comer (olim,) veteran and even some who aren't even Jewish.

Unfortunately, we did "joined the club" pretty early, only three years after our aliyah, when two friends from our American Betar days were killed in the 1973 Yom Kippur War, Charles "Chuck" Haim Hornstein חיים (הרן) הורנשטיין הי"ד" and Eli Michael Solomon אלי סולומון הי"ד".

The tie between us and our remaining friends from the 1960's Betar New York seem to just get stronger with the years. We celebrate and mourn together throughout the year and over decades. When my son got married,  we were only able to invite one table of friends, so they were the friends. They are like family for us and our children, too. And unfortunately, those Betar friends who ended up remaining in the states seem to suffer terribly from their being so far from us. Israel and Zionism brought us together and keep us together.

Li'ilui Nishmatam, May their souls ascend even higher...
Charles "Chuck" Chaim Hornstein חיים (הרן) הורנשטיין הי"ד"
Eli Michael Solomon אלי סולומון הי"ד"

May their memories be a blessing, and may we enjoy more smachot (happy occasions) together rather than grave time.

Time Doesn't Heal

Yesterday was Israel's Memorial Day for Soldiers and Victims of  Arab Terror.  Whatever scabs or scar tissue had been covering the emotional wounds from the loss of friends and family was ripped away.  My neighbors and I, although comforted by seeing the young grandchildren, nieces and nephews of those good Jews who were killed, agreed that we felt more pain than ever.

Time doesn't heal.

Time just gives us the chance to try to live better, be inspired by those who are no longer with us, who died so young...

We live in the shadows of the loss.

Just like we can't erase a shadow, we can't ignore the memories and longings that follow us even at the most unexpected times. 

Most of those we commemorated at our Shiloh Memorial Ceremony in the local cemetery were just teenagers when they were murdered.  Other were a young mother and an infant.  They all had such potential, such dreams.  And in a matter of seconds, their lives were over, and everything changed irreparably for their parents, spouse, grandparents, siblings, friends and family.

Memorial ceremony at Mt. Herzl
for a friend.

Yes, of course, we all go on.  Nobody stays static in time.  Widows and widowers marry again; more children may be born, but that doesn't make up for the missing person.  Life adapts to a new normal.  Thank G-d for giving us the strength and drive to keep going.  We are supposed to continue and not wallow in pain and misery.

Jewish History is full of destruction, defeat and disasters.  And there is also the rebuilding.

We're supposed to take those memories and the pain and make something better and stronger.  That's why the Jewish People continues to exist, even now, two thousand years after the destruction of our Second Holy Temple.  The ancient civilizations we fought with and even those that defeated us are gone, but we Jews still live and thrive and have established a modern  State of Israel.

For the Jewish People, "not healing" is not the end of the world.  We take our pain and build something better, with G-d's help.  And as we celebrate Yom Ha'Atzma'ut, we bring those memories with us to celebrate together.

Jblogs' HH Celebrating Israeli Independence Day

Esser Agaroth, worth more than 2¢ two cents, is this week's host of Havel Havelim, the international  Jewish and Israeli blog carnival.  HH appears weekly and floats from blog to blog, with some steering by our facebook page/group.  That's where you'll get information about who's the next host and how to send in your link.  You can also sign up to host an edition of Havel Havelim.  It's a good way to gain exposure for your blog and to meet others.

Last week I hosted Havel Havelim, The Cyber-Threat Edition, so if you missed it, take a look please, and it's never too late to share and comment and visit the blogs included in it.  In the end, we did survive the cyber threats, B"H, just like we've  (meaning the Jewish People) outlived all our other enemies over the millennium. 

Next week's host is ima2seven; please send your links here with HH as the subject, thanks. You can always send in other blog links, too, not just your own.

Havel Havelim isn't the only Jewish-Israeli blog carnival.  There's the monthly (according to the Jewish month) Kosher Cooking Carnival, which I began many years ago after a recipe carnival rejected my post, because their them was pork.  We still exist, which is more than I can say for that blog carnival...

KCC also has a facebook page where you can get the latest news and sign up to host an edition.  You can contribute posts/links about any aspect of kosher food and kosher cooking via blog carnival.  If you have any problems with those KCC links, please contact me at shilohmuse at gmail dot com with kcc as subject, thanks.

Since blog carnivals have nothing to do with clowns and elephants, it's perfectly acceptable to blog about them on Yom Zikaron, Memorial Day for the IDF's Fallen Soldiers and Terror Victims.

יהי זכרם ברוך

Yihi Zichrom Baruch

May Their Memories Be Blessed

Some People Can Never Forget

Officially, there's one day a year to remember those killed in Israel's wars and by Arab terrorists, but the truth is that many people are haunted by the memories of the dead every second of the day.

Last night we had a very, very moving ceremony in Shiloh. Unfortunately, our community is no stranger to the pain of loss. Many are from families which have relatives who were killed during from as early as the War of Independence and more recently from Arab terrorism.

The large dining room of Yeshivat Hesder Shiloh was totally packed with residents of all ages.

The program was so complete and moving that we all left the building under its influence. I've written so much about Shiloh's victims of Arab terrorism that I just can't write specifics right now.

Let them eat cake!

Yes, Marie Antoinette (actually she didn't coin the phrase, but since she wasn't very popular in France, she got the credit) is alive and well in Israel's largest bus company, Egged.

Yesterday when I went down to catch a ride to work before 12:30, I saw a mob of people. Some of them had been waiting since 11, figuring they could always catch the bus that was to leave Ariel at 11. It shouldn't have taken more than 45 minutes for the bus to have gotten to Shiloh, but it hadn't arrived. The driver from the other direction told them that he hadn't seen it.

I made some calls to officially complain to Egged. Then I waited along with them, getting more nervous by the minute, since I had a class to teach, and there were no rides at all going south, towards Jerusalem and Beit El.

Baruch Hashem I eventually did get to work on time, and just a few minutes ago I checked my computer and saw a response to my complaint from Egged.

Simply translated:

Dear Mrs. Medad,
I received your complaint.
On the eves of holidays, like Israel's Soldiers Memorial Day, there are special schedule changes. That bus from Ariel was cancelled.
You should remember to check the internet before traveling.

Well, yes, I, personally, do go online everyday, but many, if not most of the bus travelers don't even have computers. Instructing them to always check the internet before traveling is comparable to telling those without enough money for bread, to eat cake.

And, yes, that's what I replied to Egged:

• We didn't get any prior notice.


• It was a regular work day.


• Not everyone has a computer.

It does pay to complain, regardless of the response.

Can't be two places at once

It wasn't all that long ago, when there was only one ceremony on Israel's Soldiers Memorial Day. It was at the local school. I remember watching it from my friend's backyard, which overlooks the basketball court where all important large outdoor events took place. There were also years when I stood with the parents and teachers, since I played both roles.

Then Shiloh joined the "family" of communities with Arab terror and war victims in our cemetery, and we began having ceremonies there, too. Each year the ceremony gets larger and larger. More and more people attend, including the adult children of Shiloh, who were once students in our school.

All over Israel the cemeteries with military sections and special military cemeteries are the location for the ceremony commemorating the dead soldiers and victims of Arab terror attacks.

I wish we hadn't joined that club.

Remembering...

Tomorrow night begins Israel's Soldiers Memorial Day.


Every community has its ceremonies and customs. It's a sad day, and all sorts of activities and services are closed, including some swimming pools.

Television is filled with moving programs about the dead soldiers. It certainly feels like the best were killed. In recent years, victims of Arab terror are also included as "casualties of war," just like soldiers. It gets very depressing.

Then, after twenty-four hours of talking about the dead, suddenly, everything changes and we celebrate Yom Ha'Atzma'ut, Israeli Independence Day. It's an acquired skill, suddenly switching gears, but it teaches us a lesson. There wouldn't be a State of Israel without the IDF and its brave soldiers.

thanks cby for letting me photograph your display