Finally Finished, Purim 5777

In the Ezrat Nashim, Women's Gallery, waiting to hear the fourth and final Megillat Ester reading for 5777.

The most difficult of the Purim logistics for me is figuring out where to hear the required four readings of Megillat Ester, the Scroll of Esther, which we, including women, are commanded to hear twice each Purim Day.  So, since Shiloh is one a very exclusive select number of Biblical cities required for various reasons to celebrate two days, of Purim, I have four Megillah readings to worry about.

The reason that Megillah readings are the most difficult and stressful for me is simply because I can't do it myself. I'm also hypersensitive to noises and too easily distracted. Add those problems to my deteriorating hearing, and I need a "quiet reading." That means a reading in which there isn't noise, or very little noise, when Haman's name is said. And what happens is that there's usually an "echo" effect. The noise somehow gets dragged out another few words. And then I'm lost, miserable and even angry. Yes, I get angry on Purim.

"Why can't people aim their noise-making more accurately?" I keep muttering. "A lot of them are just copycats and start their noise-making when it should be finished."

We are supposed to follow the reading word by word, which is very hard for me. If it was just a matter of attending and tuning out with my eyes closed, I could just find a corner and meditate, but that's not the case. I have discovered that sitting in the back by a wall is helpful. At least the noise can't come from all four directions.

I ended up hearing the Megillah at three different venues, by three different readers. Both nights I went to the same place where a neighbor read according to his "quiet" rules. There was moderate, bearable noise for the first and last readings of Haman's name, plus a bit of additional noise by people who hadn't heard or paid attention to the "rules." Sitting with my back to the wall helped, but I had trouble following the reading. The first morning I went to a different neighbor. The venue was very pleasant, absolutely no loud noises, but not the clearest of readings. So, there, too, I got lost a few times. The final, fourth reading I end up where I had sworn I wouldn't go. Yes, I went to our neighborhood shul, but instead of the women's later reading, I went to the early morning one. The noise wasn't all that bad, and I sat in the back of the Ezrat Nashim, Women's Gallery. And in the synagogue there was the best reading. It was very easy to follow and understand every word he said, B"H.

On Purim I certainly had enough to eat at the two festive meals. And it was great fun to see all of my grandchildren and be a guest after decades of hosting, though I did offer to host this year and even host next year.

It's good that the more drizzly day was the second day, aka Shushan Purim. The Shiloh Purim Street Festival takes place on "regular" Purim.

Now there's just a month to Passover. EEKS!

Some People Handle It Better

I've mentioned that I can't take the noise at Megillah readings and other events. I'm hyper-sensitive and a bit ADHD. My concentration goes bananas at times. Things disturb me which don't bother others. Call me nuts, if you want.

At tonight's, that's the third of four, Megillat Esther readings, just before it began, I noticed that a kid had a toy gun. I was afraid that the boy was planning on shooting "caps" during the "quiet reading." I quickly called over the hostess and asked her to check it out. I was there, because it was billed as a "quiet" reading. She spoke to the father and seemed reassured that all was ok.

Soon into the reading I became aware of a strange clicking sound. It was, obviously, loud enough to grab my attention, but nobody else seemed to notice. I was trying very hard to concentrate on the page, but ADHD says it all.

I finally discerned that the noise was coming from that kid's gun. There were no caps in it, but he was "shooting" it empty. Periodically, his father tried to stop him, but my ADHD is small potatoes compared to the little boy.

For me it was a major challenge, staying calm, focused and keeping a happy or even a benign look on my face.

I survived it, losing track of the words, not much more than usual. I appreciate that for that little boy, staying as quiet as he was, was a great accomplishment. May G-d give his parents the strength and wisdom needed.

ps It certainly helped that I sat in a seat by the wall. When you have a "disability," it's important to know what tricks help.

There Is NO Mitzvah To Make Noise During The Megillah Reading!

We are supposed to listen carefully to every word!

I can't stand loud noises. I have walked out of "parties." I have sat with my hands over my ears at weddings.

I don't go to my local shul for Purim. I can't concentrate when people are making noise. I don't find noise joyous.

Even though my hearing has gotten worse with the years, my tolerance for noise has gotten worse, too.

As an extention of the Mitzvah to Remember what Amalek did to the Jewish People, we are supposed to listen to the Megilat (Scroll of) Ester, and we are to understand what's being said. An uninhibited noisy carnival atmosphere goes against the purpose of the reading.

Baruch Hashem, we have neighbors who invite others to hear the Megillah, yes, hear the megillah, every word in their home.

Chag Purim Sameach
Have A Joyful Purim