It's Nice to Know I'm Missed

Last night, the second of the three, tremps or rides, I got to take me home was with a former student from my days of teaching English mostly in the Yeshivat Tichonit Mateh Binyamin in Beit El. I taught boys, since it's a boys school. My glory days were when I had these tiny groups of boys who had only known failure before I got to them. After that it's not that they all became excellent students, but they remember our classes as fun. And many did go on to being better, at least passable English students.

I'm not a really great teacher, but my style seemed to fit these kids, and my flexibility, actually a manifestation of my own ADHD meant that I could easily stop in my tracks and take a completely different direction aka lesson plan when I realized that some or all were lacking in a basic skill or knowledge needed to do what had been planned.

That sort of flexibility is more than crucial when you're teaching, especially when the class is considered "remedial." I'd even have students who were English speakers, but they had never really learned to read and write the language. In many cases it was because they were dyslexic and in other cases it was because their English knowledge made the Elementary school English curriculum so unsuitable for them that they were told not to go to those classes.  But they had a such a sense of humor.

Even some students who had been insufferable in the classroom are now the happiest to see me when we run into each other in various places.

It's hard for them to accept that I left teaching soon after and now I'm working at a low level sales job instead of helping others the way I helped them.  Even those who staff members knew me in those days ask how I could have left teaching. And parents of those students tell me what a great influence I had on their sons.

My specialty was teaching those small groups. I couldn't cope with regular classes and standard curriculum. I needed to do my own thing with lots of independence. My ADHD made it hard to keep on track, so that the "emergency lesson plan changes" were just my speed. That works with six students and not twenty-six or more or even sixteen. At work in the store that "skill" at noticing all sorts of things means that I see a girls size skirt in the women's rack, a man's shirt stuck under the shelves or a clothes hangar on top of the scarves.

It is nice to be missed. My students have gone on with their lives, and I have, too.

Some People Handle It Better

I've mentioned that I can't take the noise at Megillah readings and other events. I'm hyper-sensitive and a bit ADHD. My concentration goes bananas at times. Things disturb me which don't bother others. Call me nuts, if you want.

At tonight's, that's the third of four, Megillat Esther readings, just before it began, I noticed that a kid had a toy gun. I was afraid that the boy was planning on shooting "caps" during the "quiet reading." I quickly called over the hostess and asked her to check it out. I was there, because it was billed as a "quiet" reading. She spoke to the father and seemed reassured that all was ok.

Soon into the reading I became aware of a strange clicking sound. It was, obviously, loud enough to grab my attention, but nobody else seemed to notice. I was trying very hard to concentrate on the page, but ADHD says it all.

I finally discerned that the noise was coming from that kid's gun. There were no caps in it, but he was "shooting" it empty. Periodically, his father tried to stop him, but my ADHD is small potatoes compared to the little boy.

For me it was a major challenge, staying calm, focused and keeping a happy or even a benign look on my face.

I survived it, losing track of the words, not much more than usual. I appreciate that for that little boy, staying as quiet as he was, was a great accomplishment. May G-d give his parents the strength and wisdom needed.

ps It certainly helped that I sat in a seat by the wall. When you have a "disability," it's important to know what tricks help.

Evening walks

I was going to take a walk this morning, but by the time I was ready, I realized that it's really too hot, dry and sunny. So if I want to get into shape, or at least improve things a bissel, I'm going to have to take evening walks.

That's easier said than done, since by the time I get back from work and eat, I don't feel like doing anything at all. And if I walk first, it may be too late to eat, and then I'll nosh on worse things.

I may have a full day of classes today, and it's my long day, six teaching hours, two doubles and two singles. I just made up a worksheet for the new students from their book. One of the students lent it to me. Let's see how they do. It's well above the results of the "getting acquainted" test I had given them, but they did the pages I chose with their original teacher. It'll show whether or not they can handle work. I just hope my 9th graders behave. It seems like all I ever do is send notes to the homeroom teacher and principal about their rotten behavior.

It's getting to the end of the school year, and this hot weather brings out the worst in all of us. I'm not immune either.

ADHD wildness is an attempt by the sluggish brain to "wake up." At least that's what some neurologists say. How can I prepare myself for the long afternoon with teenage boys fighting the "fog?"