Baile Rochel and Me, Too, Dieting Blues, Burnout

The weight has been creeping up. Not all of my clothes fit all that well anymore. A few things are no longer even wearable. Yes, I need to somehow re-energize, re-motivate myself to stick to the "guidelines" that got 15 kilo, over thirty, yes, 30 pounds off less than a decade ago.

Yesterday I was at our local clinic for another stage of the usual, not quite, annual check-up. After relaxing a few minutes, Blood Pressure was fine, Baruch Hashem, bli eyin haraa sans medication. But then I had to be weighed... That is not my favorite thing. OK I do weigh myself at home almost daily, but here the numbers are between me and my scale. At the clinic there was this super skinny, anorexic-looking nurse who not only saw the number, but she recorded it for everyone who can access my file, which is computerized, to see.

As if my weight wasn't bad enough, it calibrates some body-fat index according to recorded height, and mine was too high. Thank Gd she didn't recheck my height. At my age one does not get taller, and it's not just that more of my grandkids are taller than me, but my grown daughters seem to be getting much taller than they used to be, too. That index may possibly be even worse.  A few days before at the "slam a heavy door on a sensitive part of the body from all different angles test" I had written my highest remembered height on the form I had to fill in.  Ignorance is bliss, or at least makes it all seem better.

The nurse very gently tried to recommend that I contact their dietician, but I refused. I tried to explain how nothing makes me hungrier than being told what to eat. Also, she didn't know me when I was really obese and then managed to get the weight off. I told her that I could lead a group myself. Years ago, I had even taken a coaching course.

Then she asked me if I exercise and looked rather doubtful when I said "yes." So I whipped out my cellphone and showed her the Pedometer. I had to explain how it all works, also on a one day page. It gives amount of time physically active, distance, pace and steps. This is the type of thing I teach when I tutor Computer and Cellphone Tips.

Maybe the time has come to call our accountant and open my little "free lance" business. Diet Coach is what I need to be. And a group would be nice. I did it a number of years ago...

And it's certainly the time to restrict my "treats" to Shabbat and work harder to get the weight off again. I guess it's "Public Diet" time again. But I'm not telling you my weight. Some things must stay between me and the scale.

Looking for Work, but...

I'm not jobless, but it's no secret that I'd like a better job. There are things about my job that I love.

• Everyday is different.
• I get out and see people. 
• I don't sit still.
• I can help people. 
• I get to see all sorts of old friends, former students etc.
• I've made lots of new friends. 
• I get compliments, even by total strangers.
• It's pretty easy.
• I don't take it home with me. It's a sign-in and sign-out, not like teaching.
• There's a great variety of things I can do at work.
• It's pretty easy to get to and back.
• I can sometimes be creative.
• It's rarely boring.
• The salary is automatic; I don't have to hustle for clients or free lance jobs.

The negative:

• The salary, minimum wage.
• It's cold and rainy in the winter, since we're not in an enclosed building. 
• The upper echelons of the business don't respect the opinions of the sales staff.
• There's no real challenge left for me. 

I'm a certified EFL teacher with experience and training as a remedial teacher, too. My expertise is working with very small groups, but those jobs are hard to find. My attempts to teach in a regular classroom were disastrous, and at this stage in life, I do not need the stresses required.

Years ago, I taught women's exercise classes, both in Jerusalem, when we lived there and in Shiloh. Nobody at this stage, considering my age and how I look would pay me now for such a thing.

I have recently edited a book and an internet site. And I've also sold a few photos. In theory, and I have thought about it a lot, I could open a business of writing and editing, but there are three big disadvantages to it. 

1. I'd have to constantly hustle for work and clients.
2. I'd be home without the fun and stimulation of other people.
3. There would be constant clerical tasks, bookkeeping taxes etc to deal with.

And a number of years ago, before it was a popular field, I took a course to qualify me as a Life Coach, but working at that would also demand hustling etc, like any private service business.

At my age it's very hard to find work, especially work that deals with the public. I'm old; I'm retirement age, but I do not have a proper pension.

I've been working in Yafiz, Sha'ar Binyamin for close to four and a half years. It's the longest I've ever had as a non-teaching job ever, and as much as I'd like a change, I'll probably staying as long as I can.

I just needed to vent; thanks for listening.