Tuesday, November 30, 2004

languages and cultures

different language
different culture

in Hebrew we
return lost articles

but in English
lost and found
finders keepers, losers weepers

Monday, November 29, 2004

cold, but

weather's cold
my house...colder
my toes...numb

this morning
as I sat here
fingers on the keyboard
eyes on the screen

I noticed
in window's bottom corner
mostly blocked
by the empty house next door
strands of
corals and silvers and golds
shining like diamonds

to get my camera
and then
oblivious to the
frozen morning air

the door
and from the merpeset*

I aimed
my camera
at the remaining vision
and then

the front door
to catch shots
of the dawn's rich rays
dwindling in the sky

winter's sky

*balcony or terrace

Reflecting on my last musing

I don't know how many people read both my blogs. Shiloh Musings, linked on my yo yo of a sidebar, is the other one. I had a tough time writing about the new OU president's slip of tongue. It's very dicy and halachikly problematic to write about people.

As soon as I had heard his interview, I knew that I had to react. All sorts of texts and phrases and paragraphs flew around my head. At first I took the obvious route to attack what he said, (that those of us who made aliya, moved to Israel, years ago had done it for the "wrong reasons," that we were "running away" from things, etc. Very foolish words, that I'm sure he regretted. The names of friends, acquaintances and other well-known and not so well-known American immigrants danced in my mind, but then I realized that it wasn't worth arguing with him, that arguing would legitimize what he said.

Instead I looked at the little I knew of the man, just what I had been reading the past few days, and I wanted to be careful about what I'd say. I know many other American Jews, committed to Judaism, Israel, all the best of intentions. Many seriously planned aliyah but then gave into parental pressure to "wait" until the right time, more education, money, career, all the things that make it more and more difficult to leave. All long nails, nailing you to your lives in wherever. I remember an older friend who had been dreaming of aliyah and had raised her kids to be Zionists, and then after her eldest got married, and bought a house "good investment, instead of renting" before making aliya. My friend felt ill, with every purchase her child made to "fix up the house." She told me that they were nailing themselves to galut.

There was such bitterness, jealousness in Savitsky's words, as he justified his staying in Israel.

I really do feel sorry for him and even more so, since he hasn't taken this opportunity for tshuva, repentance. Instead of admitting his statement (see my previous post on t'hilim and kohelet) and trying to rid himself of all the negative, he's denying it, claiming it was "out of context." G-d has given him a great opportunity. It's not too late, Steve. Face up to what you did and grow from it.

#7, part 2 continued

must thaw out my fingers first

T'hilim, psalms, XXXII, 1
Artscroll translation
"...praiseworthy is one whose sin is forgiven, whose sin is covered over."
(in part 1) I wrote that in King Solomon's Mishlei, Proverbs, it's said that one must admit one's sin, to be forgiven, not cover it up.

Such an amazing coincidence. Before I left the house I had been busy with the OU scandal of the new president insulting us veteran olim (immigrants) claiming that we had made aliya for the "wrong reasons," running away from difficult situations, etc. And here I enter King David and King Solomon's discussion on how to do tshuva, repentence, how to be forgiven. Should Savitsky admit his mistake, that he had said insulting things, or should he cover them up "kisu'i chataa," covered up sin.

In Masechet Yoma, daf peh-vav/bet
If everyone already knows, then don't make excuses, admit it. If the sin is something that others don't know about, then one shouldn't broadcast it. It's enough to say: "Chatatiti," I sinned. No need to elaborate. Nobody else's business.

Again he went over the issue that tshuva evolves as we reach higher levels, but of course, one shouldn't obsess.

2-Happy is the man who has done tshuva, repentence. feels clean

Now, I'm not sure how we got into it, but he discussed Lot, who didn't want to return to Avraham, because it was easier to be a relative tzadik (rightous man) in evil Sdom that it would be to be minimally good in Avraham's company. (a reason some people don't make aliya, or get challenging job)

T'hilim--not ready to deal fully with the sin, like someone with a big debt who works out a payment schedule, has started paying, but has plenty left to pay back. Takes the pressure off by asking for forgiveness, but that's not enough, nor full tshuva.
3-4 because I stayed away from divrei Torah, Torah life/things. Reason why David feels he must do tshuva, "When I kept silent...because I kept silent."

Kohelet, third chapter, finishing off the "time to's"
For most of us, when we're doing one thing, our mind's on something else. King Shlomo says that there's a time for everything and we must concentrate solely on that one thing at a time.
9- "Ma yitaron ha'oseh ba'asher hu amale?" "What gain, then, has the worker by his toil?" There is a benifit just in doing something. Then Nissan pointed to me, as I did my needlepoint and asked if instead of doing it, would I buy one ready-made. I answered in the negative. I don't need more things to put on the wall , but I do enjoy doing them, keeping busy is the real reward. It's also very calming and helps me focus. That Nissan said is the meaning of Shlomo Hamelech's words.
Also, G-d wants us to take care of today and not to worry about some nebulous/unknown future.
10- Ra'iti et ha'inyan asher natan elokim l'vnei ha'adam la'anot bo." "I have observed the task which G-d has given the sons of man to be concerned/afflicted with" The underlined words are from the same root. answer/interest/torture/afflict
If we keep busy with Torah and mitzvot, we won't have the lesure to flee or be bored. Also, inui, suffering is like a slap, reminder to keep us in line.
11-new subject: "...yafe b'eito..." "beautiful in its time"
Man can't understand what/why G-d has done
Shmuel bet 2, XXI, 12? David asks G-d why he's being punished, (for nothing), and G-d answers that he's receiving the punishment instead of Saul, because Saul is too weak to withstand it, and David is much stronger. The punishment had to be given to someone, and G-d looked for someone strong enough to take it. Even if it's "not fair" one must still accept it, Life isn't fair, but that's the way it is
12- There is no "good" in this world, but do your best and be happy that you passes another test. We don't see the whole picture. *Don't think about future problems, just do what G-d commands.
I'll never forget the first time I baked a cake for my husband. We didn't yet have a proper oven and had recently moved to our apartment in Bayit V'Gan, Jerusalem. I went to a neighbor, an old lady "Bubby Willig," who had grandchildren (today some are famous) my age. I was very nervous that it wouldn't come out well, and I remember that she said: "It has good, delicious things in it, so it will taste delicious." And she was right!
13- satisfaction is a gift from G-d. The idea that we can get satisfaction from the simplest thing (I love hanging out the wash--but don't ask me about the taking in, folding and sorting).
14- G-d gives us a chance, a fresh chance each year. We can clean up our act and do tshuva. The big question: Are you afraid of the thunder, or the being that created/sends it!!?

aliya, ascent, moving to Israel

update on the controversy
ou president puts foot in mouth
revealing what I'm sure he didn't plan on saying

sour grapes stinking up
ou convention in Israel

veteran American immigrants
rise in anger

my muse on subject headlines arutz 7 opinion page
received lots of pro responses
even more than usual

no surprise
Savitsky really should admit his mistake
and resign

Sunday, November 28, 2004

T'hilim and Kohelet #7 part 1

Came in all rushed, so as usual missed the first few words, but this time I was well-equiped with my needlepoint.

T'hilim XXXIII new chapter
importance of admitting mistakes
We looked at Mishlei, Proverbs XXVIII, 13, by King Solomon, to compare (father and son)
"One who covers up sin, won't prosper/succeed, but the one who confesses and stops will obtain mercy."
In contrast, his father wrote:

sorry to leave you in suspense--the English translation I have next to me is bad, and I'd like to finally have dinner.
I'll return later with part 2

someone put his foot in it

OU bigshot put his foot in it
basically called us veteran American immigrants
a bunch of losers
that we made aliya
for the "wrong reasons"

lots of email action

we already got a letter from OU rabbi, friend of his
he can't believe his friend meant what he was quoted as saying

for sure the guy was exhausted/jet-lagged
but what comes out
in those conditions is
more the truth
the filters are off

that man's true feelings
came out

he must resign and apologize

Saturday, November 27, 2004


trying to sort out
and make sense (cents and dollars would be nice, too)
of Shabbat's experiences

met, well not personally
more like
observed and listened to
people in the news
my sort of news
about things
happening here in Israel

very informative
just watching and listening
of course
they don't know
that I muse and meander

they don't know
I blog
and they don't know
that some of my meanders and musings
are read by others

they don't know
that I'm more than
just a fat, ol' middle-aged
tag along

there's lots going on in my head

can't really write
my husband's
waiting his turn

Friday, November 26, 2004

Yaakov, Jacob

Jacob, or all the forefathers,
the most change
when young, quiet, passive, good boy, mamma's favorite

then left home
showed strength and cunning

build family
4 wives
12 sons
1 mentioned daughter
quite a balagan, hectic in the family home

then tragedy
Dina raped
sons, brothers
took over

Yaakov again quiet
just chastised them
they they had
gone too far
endangered them all

but later
end of his life
he blesses them
to separate

and one of the two
most "militant"
becomes the
priestly tribe

maybe we need
that power
in religion

Thursday, November 25, 2004


hearty welcome
for anyone
peeking for the first time

don't be shy

door's open
meander in

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


a million years ago
when I was young
I'd read lots of books
and sometimes
I didn't fully understand
every word

had no idea

until one winter
plagued by
strangely infected fingers and toes
I actually
went to a doctor

the verdict
no infections
actually a form of frostbite

makes cleaning the freezer
an experience that lasts
at least
until my fingers return
to their normal size

so today
after tremping, yesterday
in the freezing cold
only the pool, steamroom and sauna
brought my extremities
back to life this morning

so I went shopping
for warm boots
with a friend
of uninhibited taste
and common sense
who found me boots

what must be
the latest style for the under 15's
the under 20's
and maybe a little older than that

I may be the
oldest wearing them
but I'm also the oldest trempistit on the roads

most important
they are

thanks darling

rush, rush, rush

rush, rush, rush
no time but
how can I not
write just a jot?

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

middle of the week

middle of the week
of a long week

by Sunday night
I was sure
Wednesday was upon us

and it's not yet Wednesday
and I'm ready
for a quiet weekend

must pack up
for tomorrow's adventures

and must sign out
while the lids of my eyes
can still be
rolled up

frozen morning

over twenty years ago
when we planned our house
we researched
passive solar heating
and thought
we were so clever

a long house
facing south
to catch the summer rays
free heating

the books from abroad
neglected to tell us
of the winter winds
from the south
that rattle
the double windows
insecure in
their duplicated frames

and no where
did I see
of eastern windows
so perfect for seeing
the glorious sunrise
and also
for heating
overheating the house
in the summer

and we never knew
when planning that is
that a long house
so inefficient to heat
stacked one half
on the other
would have been cozier
and more cost effective

an empty attic
and long lonely halls

these regrets
by this frozen morning


instant winter
seasons change so fast
like the moods of the ADHD
or the bi-polar

fans are off
heaters must be found

fingers and toes

the flannel sheets
and woolen robe

could I
have ever
complained about summer?

Monday, November 22, 2004

sung to the tune of...

most sincere apologies

"tremping in the rain"

tremping in the rain
just tremping in the rain
what an annoying feeling
dripping wet, again
it's dripping down my nose
and soaking all my toes
and the sun's in my heart
and my eyes on the road

let the stormy clouds chase
all the terrorists from this place
come on with the rain
some mud splashed on my face
I must be insane
just tremping,
yes tremping in the rain

"Singin' in the Rain"
music by Nacio Herb Brown; lyrics by Arthur Freed

Singin' in the rain

Just singin' in the rain.
What a glorious feelin'.
I'm happy again.
I'm laughin' at clouds
So dark up above.
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love.
Let the stormy clouds chase

Everyone from the place.
Come on with the rain.
I've a smile on my face.
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain,
And singin',
just singin' in the rain.

reflecting on #6 again

All I'm doing is re-inventing the wheel. I'm 100% certain that wiser and more knowledgable people have thought and even recorded these ideas many times over the centuries. It's just that I'm learning all this for the very first time. And as you know, t'hilim and kohelet were both written thousands of years ago. But I like to learn and especially think, and these two books are the greatest fertilizer for parched minds.

King David and his son King Solomon actually have an awful lot in common. They came to the same concludions.
  1. There's nothing wrong, to be afraid of, when experiencing "bad" things
  2. The good and the bad are connected
  3. G-d is always with us, no matter what's happening

We start with the father. In many of the t'hilim (there are 150), it's written/stated that "after sorrow comes joy." I'll take one of the best known, among those who "bench" on Shabbat (say the prayer after eating on Shabbat.) On Shabbat we preface the prayer with T'hilim #126, which starts with the term "Shir Hama'alot. A Song of the Ascents." I apologize for the translation; I checked in a couple of places, and nothing sounds like real English, and the Hebrew has some "not-everyday" words. I'll try to combine to make it more comprehensible: 5-Those who sow/plant in tears will reap/harvest in joy. 6- Though he goes on his way weeping, he who carries the (heavy) weight of the seed, he (the same one) will return in joy, carrying his sheaves.

These same thoughts/predictions/observations repeat in others, such as chapter 30, line 6: For His anger is for just a moment, His favor for a lifetime; weeping may tarry/stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

From here we get to one of the most famous passages in all of Kohelet. "There is a time..." Difficulties and tragedies help us appreciate the good we have, and sometimes we only realize it's good because of the difficulties we've experienced.

We won't have food/fruit/grains if we don't schlep the seeds, till the soil, plant, irrigate etc. And it is very hard work. Sometimes G-d punishes us, but it's not forever. Yes, "there is a season" for it all.


too much to write about
t'hilim and kohelet

best to start
with shortest

hours on the computer

closed the double windows
at least
those I could reach

rained again
fingers chilled
take out heaters
find timers

all by my

I'll tell you
King David and son Solomon
really wrote the same message

to leave you
in suspense.....

tune in

Sunday, November 21, 2004

part 2 of #6 sounds pretty suspicious, but it's ok

I think we left Saul trying to capture David, even though David had done the heroic thing and just saved a city from Philistine take-over, but Saul's egomaniac me-power was more important to him. Just when he aaaaaaaallllllmooooooost caught him, an urgent message arrived that the philistines were attacking some where else and he, the king, was needed. Now for his big dilemma: David his rival, patiently waiting successor, or the enemy of his nation the Philistines. Hard decision. While you're trying to guess, reminds me of how hard the government works, and the amount invested in investigating YESHA people as "possible rebels, whatever" instead of using all the country's power against our real enemy the Arab terrorists. Sharon now is busy trying to take over every independent mind in the Likud; his power is the most important thing.
Now what will King Saul decide? His ego or his country? Tough choice when you're a lame duck king. Well, hard to believe, but he chose his country. Kol hakavod, but too little too late, and his kingship didn't last too long, and his children were out of power.
25- That's why David wrote: "be strong and let your heart be filled with courage; all of you waiting for G-d." Wow! that's some happy ending. but it's just a chapter in a long book

Kohelet, finishing off the second chapter
Strangely constructed sentence. Should we enjoy food or not? The answer is that we should if it's the fruit of our labors. We should work for what we have. Getting back to previous questions, how much do we owe our children? Are we doing them a favor if we give them everythign? according to this, no. Food you grow and cook has a special taste. The enjoyment is permanent, sipuk,
brings me to Yaakov, how he's like two different people, the nebich who lived with his parents and the businessman, leader, patriarch once he was on his own. On Shabbat I ate at neighbors where we discussed the parsha and this difference was one of the subjects, so the fact that it was on my mind, was not from the shiur this morning.
One shouldn't get into debt for pleasure, and one shouldn't save too much. Enjoy what you have, don't suffer for tomorrow. sameach b'chelko be happy with what you have. That's being rich. The talent of enjoying what you have is a gift from G-d. Man works for himself, the work itself is the gift. In Beireishit I, 11 G-d created the trees so that the entire tree would be the fruit, edible, but somehow it came out of the ground differently, that the fruit would grow from the tree.
Shmuel alef, XVI, 1, G-d told Shmuel that Saul had to be deposed/replaced. He was a disaster as a king. Shmuel refused, telling G-d that he was afraid of Saul, that Saul would kill him. Now really, he was afraid of a man and not of G-d? That's why he died young, big sin. It's like the people who are terrified to wear a sports jacket at a black tie dinner, like they'll be struck by lightening--dead for such a sin, but they have no problem eating traif at the same dinner. Then G-d had to give him very specific instructions to help him out.
Not like David, Nachshon decended from Peretz and those daring women.
One who's too cautious saving and not enjoying what he has, big mistake.

Chapter 3 the famous "time for.."
We have to find G-d no matter what's going on, happy or sad, sick or healthy. It's all part of life and we have to see the good. Contrasts, one's needed for the other.
Everything has a time.
Shmuel Bet V, 20, the root, peh, resh tzadi, meaning to push out, jump out used twice, once for winning a war and once when Uza extended his had to grab and was punished with death.

very, very, very strange

I almost went into a total panic. Thought my part one report of the morning's learning was lost in cyberspace. Somehow that and remiss got mixed in order.



are we remiss
to live life to its fullest?
family and friends?
take advantage
of every opportunity?

"Life is wonderful; better than ever...
it was
almost worth it"

said a friend
in remission

#6 T'hilim and Kohelet part 1

I forgot my needlepoint, so I was a bit tense as we started, didn't know how it would effect my concentration. It usually keeps me from "over particiapating," but since we had a low turn-out, I was able to talk for all those absent.

We're still on XXXI, 16 aiming to finish that chapter. As usual, it took me a bit to get into it.
Back to the concept of busha, embarrassment. It's a major impetus for tshuva repentence. Even when we're sure we must have had repented for a certain sin, suddenly we feel embarrasssed again by it. How could that be when once should be enough? The Rav Tzadok from Lublin says it's like when you're in high school you relearn the history you learned in elementary school, but on a higher level. Busha is very important for the growth of a person, standards and values. Then there was something about busha becoming fire, then tears and jealousy, but I somehow was out of it.

Reward in olam haba, the world to come. We shouldn't try to figure out the relative merit/value/weight of mitzvot and sin. We can't calculate and shouldn't even attempt.
21- m'ruchsei ish, pride of man, heights
3 main languages for three different reasons/purposes
Greek-talk, philosophy
Hebrew- prayer
22- David thanks G-d for saving him, and we went into Shmuel alef XXIII, 1 to learn the story of how David rescued a city and then entered it, and when Saul discovered that he was there, he went after him, even though he had done a great thing for the people. Then we learned some mishnayot debating if one can sacrifice one Jew to save another. Like the nazis asked the Judenrat, or even like now if we can destrooy yishuvim to try to save others. The bottom line from the mishna is NO.

end of part one--I'm freezing

visiting cards

visiting cards
the cyber type

been dropping them
all over
but no one

risky business

risky business
to hang wash
in winter
I won't
be home
a few hours

the recently pinked
male underwear
worth the risk

*** bonus points
to anyone
who can connect
that title
to a lantsman***

Saturday, November 20, 2004


just wondering
while at neighbors
discussed the parsha
Torah portion of the week
the stones Yaakov took,

toight researching
King David and Goliath
David took stones

were they the same?

Shavua Tov, A Good Week

Shavua Tov
good week
to all

after Shabbat
that got

to be part
of a community

Friday, November 19, 2004

the son in the jungle

my son's in the jungle
called from the wild
none of my fears
loves to scamper and climb

dances on tree tops
with the confidence of two
that's how I know for sure
where mine went to

my son's in the jungle
I can't imagine why
he left many months ago
I want to cry

getting ready

quiet Shabbat
empty house
but still
must ready it
to welcome
the queen
the peace

buy myself

sagged again

sagged again
the rarely buoyant saga
of the sagging sidebar

calling for help


through blogland

next blog

next blog

next blog
all goy

next blog
for faggots

next blog
not for me

all I wanted
was to
leave a
calling card

somehow landed
in the wrong neighborhood

6 days

week's ending
with a bang

always more
than any other

no idea
what I'll do

my baby
will stay home
with me

if not

it'll still be

Thursday, November 18, 2004

walk or sleep

made my son
birthday cake
with lots of
chocolate icing

a bit too much
chocolate icing

and it sat
in a bowl
spoon by spoon
nibble by nibble
the bowl emptied

and now
all those calories
to be
shaken off


so if
I try to
shake off
the calories

I won't be
to sleep

and there's still
more cake
waiting patiently
on the table


schizophrenic sky

two seasons
two skies
in one glance

to the left
black and stormy

to the right
pure blue
with a hint of clouds
so perfectly formed

realer than real
like some
trying to show up G-d

schizophrenic sky
welded together

this week's haftara

Chazal, the sages, say that we're in this world to correct the sins, mistakes, of the past. This week's haftara, the portion generally from "Prophets and Writings" of the Bible, is so modern. It's all about politics and power.
Many of us ask how come even the best, most moral, patriotic politicians jump off the cliff into immoral, dangerous policies. I recently signed up for an email "lesson" in the haftarot, since I really know very little about them.
I just had to quote from it, with attribution at the end, so if you want to sign up, all the info's there.
When will we have a true leader for good in high office. What happens to the politicians when the sit in that "chair?"

Yeravam could not see himself forgoing his respect for Rechavam's sake. He conceivably reasoned that the king must display total authority and not be perceived as subservient to anyone. However, the Sages reveal that this reasoning was truly rooted in arrogance and unwillingness to show others proper honor and respect. This character flaw created his threatening illusion and propelled him to alienate his kingdom. We now realize that what began as a subtle insensitivity towards Shlomo Hamelech eventually developed into a full grown split in our nation. Yeravam did perform a meritorious act but showed disrespect for authority. Hashem granted Yeravam the throne but tested his ability to manage such authority. Yeravam succumbed to the temptation of power and could not forego his own honor. This persistent drive blinded him and misled him to undermine his own power and destroy his kingdom. (see Maharzu's comment to Vayikra Rabba 12:5) Regretfully, we learn the power of a character flaw and see how one person's sense of honor and respect destroyed our nation and exiled our Ten lost tribes.
Haftorah, Copyright © 2004 by Rabbi Dovid Siegel and Torah.org. The authoris Rosh Kollel (Dean) of Kollel Toras Chaim, Kiryat Sefer, Israel.Rabbi Siegel's topic-of-interest lectures are available through KollelToras Chesed's Tape of the Month Club.Join the Jewish Learning Revolution! Torah.org: The Judaism Site bringsthis and a host of other classes to you every week. Visit http://torah.orgor email learn@torah.org to get your own free copy of this mailing.Project Genesis - Torah.org is a recognized charity and depends upon yoursupport. Please help us by visiting http://torah.org/support/ forinformation on class dedications, memorials, annual giving and more.


latest musing
about crucial question--antisemitism
so many comments
hit a nerve with
more than

didn't know
lots of Christians
read Arutz 7 and my musings

one friend
reminded me
the answer's in the Bible
"Eisav hated Jacob"

written in past tense
does that mean
can end
should end
when will it end?

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

caught by surprise

rain was predicted
talk of rain
but talk's cheap
sometime's wrong

and the
threatening black clouds
are more
like the lion
in "The Wizzard of Oz"

in Jerusalem
the sky was getting
blue and clear

figured the prdictions
were hot air
warming us
in the Holy City

on the way
to babysit
tired, hegzamti
did too much
pool, walking
and walking

rested in the car
black, like
smoke from a fire
to the north of us

then suddenly
woke to the
swish of windshield wipers

caught by surprise
real rain

Baruch Hashem

ye ol' baglady

so many ways
to embarrass the kids

a favorite
is schlepping
more than
one bag

better for
ye ol' back
right, left, center, an'

most important

or back?

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

calling Murphy

anti-drought tactics
worked for two years

no umbrella
stood out

increased percipitation

this year
constipated sky

Cousin Mickey
promised raindance
from his
wheel chair

still waiting
wash dried

what will

let's pray
to G-d

white sky

sky's white
one big cloud
like dirty cotton balls
pure snow

in the distance

still warm

indecisive winds

rather not

past its best
over ripe
not good
loss of appetite

as we wait
clouds to form

shouldn't complain, but

I know

been complaining
about lack of rain

now more clouds
just on
the day

should, could
be flying
flip flapping

it's spinning
must decide
or inside

where should
the laundry

Monday, November 15, 2004

Women, the parsha and King Solomon

Yes, this green is usually for the Torah stuff.

Basically this is about my theory concerning the maternal antecedents of King Solomon. The parsha this week, the portion of the Torah, Bible, read on Shabbat mentions the first of the special women. These are the women who forced themselves into the line to make KS who built the Beit HaMikdash.
I hope that I'm not leaving any out.
First is Leah, the sister Yaakov wasn't interested in. But Leah convinced her younger and prettier sister Rachel to let her marry Yaakov. I don't think it was their father who masterminded it, I'm sure that it was Leah, who didn't care that her reputation could be tarnished. For her it was worth marrying Yaakov and having his sons.
Next was Tamar. Tamar married Leah's grandson, son of Yehuda. He died and so did the next son she married. Apparently she was supposed to join the line. Then she was supposed to be married to the next son, who was rather young. She waited and realized that her in-laws wanted her to be forgotten. She was determined to have a child from the special line, so she made a plan to seduce Yehuda. She disguised herself as a prostitute and managed to seduce him. For payment he left her a deposit, to be redeemed later, something recognizable. When he tried to pay her, not only couldn't he find her, but people who knew the area claimed that there wasn't a prostitute there. So he figured that if she wanted the money, she'd find a way, Then big scandal, his daughter-in-law Tamar was pregnant, even though she hadn't had a live husband for years. He went to see her, and she showed proof of who the father of the child was. He recongized what he had left as a deposit. And he apologized saying that she's the real tzadik. She had twins. One of those twins was an atecendent of Boaz.
Boaz was a rich man in Beit lechem. His relative's widow, Naomi, came back from Moav with her daughter-in-law, Ruth. The women were poverty-stricken. None of the relatives wanted to give them any of the family property or marry the convert daughter-in-law. Boaz was the only one to agree to try to help and let them have the scraps of his harvest. Naomi knew that the only way to rejoin the family was to have a child with him, and since she was too old, she sent Ruth to seduce him, which she did, and like Tamar, got pregnant from one try. Her son was the Grandfather of David.
Now David was the King. Batsheva was married to someone else who was away, in the army. She wanted to join that line, (and from what we read in the Bible David's sons from his other wives were no great shakes, certainly nothing to be proud of.) Batsheva knew she could do better, so she decided to seduce the king. She bathed where she knew he could see her. And he did. The first child they conceived died, but the later married after she was widowed, and Solomon was born. David is blamed as the aggressor in this by everyone, but me.
With the help of Nathan the prophet, Batsheva manages to get her son appointed as successor.

Behind every great man there's a tough mother, grandmother.....


it's all politics
people manipulation

no ideals
for too many

power for
power's sake

doing it
for themselves

but calling themselves


ordinary people

green sprouts
to lead
the hungry people

to wear?

what to wear
when weather's
almost winter

water-proof hat?

clouds to the south
not dark grey

from the west

if west dark
but immediate
won't tell me
about two or three
hours hence

time to dress
on the weather

more on #5

the difficulties of affluence
someone mentioned a cousin, born filthy rich who died penniless (drugs, alcohol) in the street,
then she though better of it and said that his brother was ok

From kohelet we see that the childraising theories, how much to give a child, how much to challenge him, have been in conflict forever. KD had a hard life and seemed to do better than his son, but he died relatively young for Bible times, and he died "old," a rare adjective. The stress took a toll. He complained, when still young, when writing t'hilim, of eye problems. The other important Biblical figure, Yitzchak, who was blind, according to medrashim (which I can't stand) was damaged by events at the akeida, sacrifice that wasnt'. Maybe it was stress, like KD. I remember knowing, for a short time, a blind woman who lost her sight after the death of a brother. Post traumatic stress is physical.


of winter
through the windows

eastern windows
from where
the sun rises
and seasons

first hints
blown in
the wind

one by one

but locked out

the cold winds
the rain?