must thaw out my fingers first
T'hilim, psalms, XXXII, 1
Artscroll translation
"...praiseworthy is one whose sin is forgiven, whose sin is covered over."
(in part 1) I wrote that in King Solomon's Mishlei, Proverbs, it's said that one must admit one's sin, to be forgiven, not cover it up.
Such an amazing coincidence. Before I left the house I had been busy with the OU scandal of the new president insulting us veteran olim (immigrants) claiming that we had made aliya for the "wrong reasons," running away from difficult situations, etc. And here I enter King David and King Solomon's discussion on how to do tshuva, repentence, how to be forgiven. Should Savitsky admit his mistake, that he had said insulting things, or should he cover them up "kisu'i chataa," covered up sin.
In Masechet Yoma, daf peh-vav/bet
If everyone already knows, then don't make excuses, admit it. If the sin is something that others don't know about, then one shouldn't broadcast it. It's enough to say: "Chatatiti," I sinned. No need to elaborate. Nobody else's business.
Again he went over the issue that tshuva evolves as we reach higher levels, but of course, one shouldn't obsess.
2-Happy is the man who has done tshuva, repentence. feels clean
Now, I'm not sure how we got into it, but he discussed Lot, who didn't want to return to Avraham, because it was easier to be a relative tzadik (rightous man) in evil Sdom that it would be to be minimally good in Avraham's company. (a reason some people don't make aliya, or get challenging job)
T'hilim--not ready to deal fully with the sin, like someone with a big debt who works out a payment schedule, has started paying, but has plenty left to pay back. Takes the pressure off by asking for forgiveness, but that's not enough, nor full tshuva.
3-4 because I stayed away from divrei Torah, Torah life/things. Reason why David feels he must do tshuva, "When I kept silent...because I kept silent."
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Kohelet, third chapter, finishing off the "time to's"
For most of us, when we're doing one thing, our mind's on something else. King Shlomo says that there's a time for everything and we must concentrate solely on that one thing at a time.
9- "Ma yitaron ha'oseh ba'asher hu amale?" "What gain, then, has the worker by his toil?" There is a benifit just in doing something. Then Nissan pointed to me, as I did my needlepoint and asked if instead of doing it, would I buy one ready-made. I answered in the negative. I don't need more things to put on the wall , but I do enjoy doing them, keeping busy is the real reward. It's also very calming and helps me focus. That Nissan said is the meaning of Shlomo Hamelech's words.
Also, G-d wants us to take care of today and not to worry about some nebulous/unknown future.
10- Ra'iti et ha'inyan asher natan elokim l'vnei ha'adam la'anot bo." "I have observed the task which G-d has given the sons of man to be concerned/afflicted with" The underlined words are from the same root. answer/interest/torture/afflict
If we keep busy with Torah and mitzvot, we won't have the lesure to flee or be bored. Also, inui, suffering is like a slap, reminder to keep us in line.
11-new subject: "...yafe b'eito..." "beautiful in its time"
Man can't understand what/why G-d has done
Shmuel bet 2, XXI, 12? David asks G-d why he's being punished, (for nothing), and G-d answers that he's receiving the punishment instead of Saul, because Saul is too weak to withstand it, and David is much stronger. The punishment had to be given to someone, and G-d looked for someone strong enough to take it. Even if it's "not fair" one must still accept it, Life isn't fair, but that's the way it is
12- There is no "good" in this world, but do your best and be happy that you passes another test. We don't see the whole picture. *Don't think about future problems, just do what G-d commands.
I'll never forget the first time I baked a cake for my husband. We didn't yet have a proper oven and had recently moved to our apartment in Bayit V'Gan, Jerusalem. I went to a neighbor, an old lady "Bubby Willig," who had grandchildren (today some are famous) my age. I was very nervous that it wouldn't come out well, and I remember that she said: "It has good, delicious things in it, so it will taste delicious." And she was right!
13- satisfaction is a gift from G-d. The idea that we can get satisfaction from the simplest thing (I love hanging out the wash--but don't ask me about the taking in, folding and sorting).
14- G-d gives us a chance, a fresh chance each year. We can clean up our act and do tshuva. The big question: Are you afraid of the thunder, or the being that created/sends it!!?
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