Sunday, November 17, 2019

#ShidduchCrisis, Book Review

Anyone who knows the meaning of #ShidduchCrisis also knows what siyate diShmaya means. Gd's timing is amazing. Just as I finished reading #ShidduchCrisis: Short Stories by Penina Shtauber, I attended a parlor meeting concerning the choosing of a new Chief Rabbi for our town. The neighbor facilitating the meeting made sure we had read and understood a long list of requirements and qualifications that a new rabbi would have to meet and agree to.

Deja vu, I had to control my laughter. The committee that made that list must have been inspired by the advisers of the unfortunate young people Shtauber describes in her book. The stories are short and mostly sad. Some made me angry. It's so clear from the characters Shtauber writes about that the emphasis on lists, requirements, including height and weight, dress size etc has distracted those in the shidduch dating scene from their real aim. And I'm sure that the professional shadchanim, who have an ulterior motive -money- harm more than help.

As depressing as the situation described in #ShidduchCrisis, I must say that the book itself is well-written and easy to read. I don't consider it a "spoiler" to say that very few of the couples and those in the shidduch scene described in the book actually get married. That's why the situation is considered a crisis. The stories in #ShidduchCrisis are told in male or female voices.

I recommend that parents, both mother and father read the book and then give it to their children before they get on the shidduch merry-go-round. And of course they should discuss it together. If you want to get the best out of it, take notes, mark passages, or if you or your children read it on Shabbat, be prepared with small pieces of paper to leave by important/significant passages.

Inspired by #ShidduchCrisis, I told the neighbor on the "Choosing a new Rabbi Committee" that after meeting and "auditioning" the candidate rabbis, they should throw the lists in the garbage and just concentrate on the person. And they should ask the candidates a simple question. "If you weren't looking for the job as rabbi, would you want to live in Shiloh?"

Yes, I learned a lot from #ShidduchCrisis.
You don't have to be looking for a spouse to read #ShidduchCrisis by Penina Shtauber. 

Product details

  • Series: #ShidduchCrisis (Book 1)
  • Paperback: 266 pages
  • Publisher: Penina Shtauber (September 18, 2019)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9659275706
  • ISBN-13: 978-9659275700
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

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