A number of times, decades ago, I tried to get involved in Israeli politics, but at meetings I'd be greeted with
"What does your husband think?"
"Can you get your husband to come to the next meeting?"
and things like that.
So when a before one of the previous elections somebody called to ask me if I would be willing to join the English language branch of a political party I just had to ask:
"Do you want me, or do you think you can use me go get my husband."
"Well, actually we do want your husband, but you can join, too."
"Can you promise not to ask me his opinion or to convince him to get active?"
"Thanks for being honest, but I'm not able to join."
At least she was honest, yes, "she." There's no sisterhood in politics.
A couple of years ago someone said:
"Your daughters are so intelligent; they must take after your husband."and then waited for me to say "thank you." No surprise, no thanks from me, but I was polite and stayed silent instead. Maybe that was a mistake.
Over the years people brought groups to Shiloh then asked my husband to speak to them. When he'd recommend me as a substitute, they'd act like they were getting the dregs of the bottle, worse than second best. And they weren't even shy about telling me that they didn't want me but had no choice. Sometimes after my "show" they'd thank me, relieved that I was nothing like what they had feared.
I've worked hard to find a "nice spin" to it. Maybe they didn't really think me an idiot, just that only an idiot would be married to him?
Can you think of something better?
Yes, it all sounds pretty pathetic, but ever since I decided that it should be my reaction, I've stopped getting upset when it happens. And since I've been writing and blogging I've developed a following of my own. Actually, before the recent elections I attended a meeting of English speaking NU-NRP, and nobody asked me for my husband or his opinions.
We've come a long way....