Judaism Respect for The Dead and General Mourning Customs

Yesterday I posted the photo below to the 365project.org, and some of the members found it interesting and asked questions about the Jewish attitude towards death and funerals.

Funeral Today

A lovely man, good neighbor, who always tried to help others and was devoted to the community and his family died this morning and was buried this afternoon.

In Judaism, one is required to bury the dead as soon as possible, preferably the same day as the death occurs. Leaving the body unburied is a sign of disrespect and causes suffering to the soul.

One of the reasons I took this photo in black and white is that there's a weeklong black and white photo meme floating around facebook I was asked to join. The funeral was a perfect location for black and white.  But since it's a colorless photo you can't see that people are dressed in regular colored clothes, including the close family mourners who aren't shown here.

According to Jewish Law and custom, one doesn't dress up in formal black for a funeral or mourning, and mourners certainly don't rush out to buy a well cut and tailored black suit for the occasion. During mourning the aesthetic is to be ignored. At the cemetery, just before burial the immediate family, the dead person's children, spouse, siblings and parents have their clothing cut and ripped to symbolize the loss and damage to the family.

Once the dead person is buried, the mourners change out of leather shoes and wear cloth of plastic/rubber ones.

Then, after the funeral, they "sit shiva," have a weeklong period of mourning in which they wear those same clothes and don't comb their hair. Mirrors and other reflective surfaces in the home are covered, so the mourner will not be able to check how he or she looks. There is also no washing or bathing besides minimal personal hygiene. The only break in this is for the Sabbath, when one bathes simply, meaning no long pleasurable shower or bubble bath, and then puts on clean Shabbat clothes. 

The mourners are not supposed to be involved in any of the logistics and chores of everyday life. Friends, neighbors and more distant relatives are supposed to supply them with food etc. People come to give their condolences, share and listen to stories of the dead person. The mourners are encouraged to talk about the dead one. Conversation is supposed to be initiated by the mourner and kept on topic. Visitors aren't supposed to converse among themselves. One is not supposed to ask the mourner how he/she feels.

At the beginning of the seventh day, the mourners "get up." It's customary for visitors to literally help them up and take them out the door and walk a bit. Then the mourner goes home to bathe and change into clean clothes.

During the thirty days after a death, the mourners are also forbidden to have haircuts and shave.

The mourning period is stopped by certain Jewish Holidays, since the national religious celebrations are more important than personal ones.

This post is just a general post about Jewish Mourning, so I'm not going into great detail. If you want to know more click Judaism 101 and  Chabad.