Friday, November 25, 2005

Not Fair!

Blogging Jameel has miluim. That's Israeli army reserve duty. He's kvetching about aches and pains, both physical and emotional. Post Disengagement it's not the same feeling.

But really, he's on vacation from work and home, and they even gave him off to get to a Bar Mitzvah, not bad at all.

When we were a young family and my husband still did miluim, he'd prepare by going to a 2nd hand book store and stocking up on lots and lots of books. And then he'd go off and leave me with the kids and whatever errands he used to be responsible for. I always wished to have vacations like that, to go off with my pals and buddies, a little escape from reality.

I could never go off, away, just for myself, only to doctor and dentist appointments. And I don't consider staying a couple of nights in the hospital to give birth a break from reality and daily responsibilities.

Yes, miluim has its stresses, but they are different ones. It's important to get away a bit. Years ago, ok, 9 years ago, when I worked in the "Bagel House" selling bagel sandwiches and snacks to office workers and was in charge of the department, I usually took advantage of the freebie lunch and spent the whole afternoon in the office doing the bookkeeping and planning the next day's orders, barely making the bus home. But on rare occasions, I'd meet a friend in a nearby restaurant for a nice long leisurely lunch. Then I'd run back to the office and finish my work well before the bus.

It's more efficient to take real breaks, with a change of scenery. Too bad I didn't have or make those opportunities when I was a young mother.

2 comments:

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Batya: While I can totally understand your particular point, I'm not a good example of a milluimnik. I didn't start the IDF when I was a "young father"...but much later on (in my 30s). Since I work in high tech, my wife is happy that on milluim, I have a chance (sometimes) to actually be home to help with the kids EARLIER than when I work at my regular job.

Whats worse is that I travel alot on business, so milluim at least means I'm home for shabbatot, and usually home earlier in the evenings.

I can also tell you that my particular milluim is not a vacation (like alot of others have), with no spare time for reading books...barely enough time for work related phone calls on my mobile.

Then again, lots of people think high tech business trips abroad are lots of fun. Personally, I hate them - and would rather be home. I work much harder on trips than I do at home...and the highly guilty concience keeps me feeling miserable anwyay.

The Happy Feminist said...

This post is featured in the Carnival of Feminists at

http://happyfeminist.typepad.com/happyfeminist/2005/12/holly_at_self_p.html