I guess it wasn't all that sudden. A half a year ago, when my married daughter and family were with us, and her husband was describing how large and wonderful their new kitchen/diningroom/livingroom/family room was to be, he offered to host us and whomever of our single kids wanted to come for the Passover Seder. As Torah Observant Jews, we don't travel on the Holy Days, so hosting is more than just one meal, it's a twenty-five hour plus event.
Immediately, I agreed, adding that I'd do the cooking. And that's what we did for the first day (in Israel, there's just one seder) of Passover.
There were plans for Chol Hamoed (interim semi-holiday) Savta Brei at my house for them and my cousin, her husband and a close mutual friend. Then my daughter called and asked if I would mind if that, too could be in her house. I agreed, as did my cousin, so I prepared the batter at home, rinsed vegetables for salad, made the easiest applesauce imaginable and assembled the meal in my daughter's gorgeous kitchen. The only downside was that instead of taking pictures I was busy in the kitchen.
I have a very strong feeling that we've turned a corner in our family tradition. For forty years (almost 41) we have been "the family hosts" for many events and Jewish Holidays. I did this when I was even younger than my youngest child. There were no alternative family homes to go to for most Chaggim, Holidays. We do go to my cousin's for Yom Ha'Atzma'ut, Israeli Independence Day, and for a few years we went there for Pesach Chol HaMoed.
No doubt, with time, we'll be sharing more and more of the food preparation. The Holiday meal the day after the seder was cooked by my son and eldest daughter.
I have no "emotional need" to be the hostess. I just want to be with family, and it's nice to see that the next generation is willing and able to take on more responsibilities.
6 comments:
Last year, Efi and Ora made the seder in their house. It is a real 'nachass shep' to see your kid doing v'higadita on his own kids! 'Nuff said.
amen
I've been the hostess for the past 28 years. First it was hosting parents and parents-in-law. Then it was the kids and friends. Now we have no room for friends since the kids are starting to come with their own families, and there's less and less room around the table for non-relatives. I'm so looking forward to the day when the next generation starts hosting and I can be the guest who brings the dessert. As Risa said, it would be nice to shep some nachass from that angle.
As an aside, have you ever noticed that when secular families grow older and the kids move out the parents usually buy a smaller place to accomodate their smaller family. But when dati parents marry off their children, as time goes by you need to buy a bigger house with more bedrooms and space to accomodate your growing family when they come for Shabbat and the chagim.
Mirj, so true.
nachas. you worked for years to get it!
thank G-d
We still share the responsibilties. The cooking is the easy part for me.
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