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Saturday, November 26, 2011

Joking About "Reconstructive Surgery"

This post may not be "ladies only," but males may feel rather "uncomfortable" reading it.

Breast cancer is getting more and more common.  Thank G-d, I'm not in the club, but when statistics claim that one out of eight women 1/8 will be diagnosed with breast cancer at least once in her life-time, I have to consider that possibility.  So, of course, considering the numbers, I do have many friends who have had it.  Most are still alive, even those who have had two mastectomies years apart.

It's easy for me to say that I'd prefer a radical mastectomy over chemo and radiation and that I wouldn't risk undergoing further surgery for reconstruction, because I've never had to make the choice.

Some of my friends complain bitterly over the unbearable discomfort of the special prosthesis ("You have no right to call them 'falsies.'") bras and go without. Yes, they prefer being flat to the pain, discomfort and summer heat.  One finally said that she just can't take it, wants to look "like a woman" and is going to have reconstructive surgery.

She tried explaining to me what the surgeon was going to do.  We ended up laughing hysterically, especially after she said that they'd be inserting some sort of magnet.  I asked about all those metal-detecting security checks we go through.  I have bracelets that set the alarms screaming.  What is she going to answer/explain?

"They're my boobs and you can't have them?"

I frequently offer to show the guards my dental work, but breast implants are something else; not that anyone has ever agreed to check my teeth.

Experts say that laughing is good for your health, so if you have any other jokes or funny stories, please send them.  Thanks

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