Tuesday, May 24, 2005

for all women, so true

Sorry about the "graphics," but the text keeps disappearing when I fix it. Believe me, it's worth reading--to the end!

This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole> >>>thing. There is a serious message at the end, but> >>>you get to laugh on the way there.> >>>> >>>> >>>GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED> >>>> >>>> >>>For years and years they told me,> >>>Be careful of your breasts.> >>>Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.> >>>And give them monthly tests.> >>>> >>>> >>>So I heeded all their warnings,> >>>And protected them by law.> >>>Guarded them very carefully,> >>>And I always wore my bra.> >>>> >>>> >>>After 30 years of astute care,> >>>My gyno, Dr Pruitt,> >>>Said I should get a Mammogram> >>>"OK," I said, "let's do it."> >>>> >>>> >>>"Stand up here real close" she said,> >>>(She got my boob in line),> >>>"And tell me when it hurts," she said,> >>>"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."> >>>> >>>> >>>She stepped upon a pedal,> >>>I could not believe my eyes!> >>>A plastic plate came slamming down,> >>>My hooter's in a vise!> >>>> >>>> >>>My skin was stretched and mangled,> >>> >From underneath my chin.> >>>My poor boob was being squashed,> >>>To Swedish Pancake thin.> >>>> >>>> >>>Excruciating pain I felt,> >>>Within it's viselike grip.> >>>A prisoner in this vicious thing,> >>>My poor defenseless tit!> >>>> >>>> >>>"Take a deep breath" she said to me,> >>>Who does she think she's kidding?!?> >>>My chest is mashed in her machine,> >>>And woozy I am getting.> >>>> >>>> >>>"There, that's good," I heard her say,> >>>(The room was slowly swaying.)> >>>"Now, let's have a go at the other one."> >>>Have mercy, I was praying.> >>>> >>>> >>>It squeezed me from both up and down,> >>>It squeezed me from both sides.> >>>I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,> >>>To HER tender little hide.> >>>> >>>> >>>Next time that they make me do this,> >>>I will request a blindfold.> >>>I have no wish to see again,> >>>My knockers getting steam rolled.> >>>> >>>> >>>If I had no problem when I came in,> >>>I surely have one now.> >>>If there had been a cyst in there,> >>>It would have gone "ker-pow!"> >>>> >>>> >>>This machine was created by a man,> >>>Of this, I have no doubt.> >>>I'd like to stick his balls in there,> >>>And, see how THEY come out!> >>>> >>>> >>>Mail this to 13 other females. Now, don't break the> >>>chain! One female broke the chain, her plumbing> >>>became so bad, she now has an outhouse!> >>>> >>>> >>>OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember...> >>>> >>>> >>>Breast Cancer Awareness...> >>>Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy!> >>>Pass the message on to> >>>your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins,> >>>friends, --- and even your enemies.> >>>Because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer.

2 comments:

Esther said...

On behalf of Big Sister, who just finished her six month battle to become breast cancer-free (yay!), thank you for helping to raise awareness.

muse said...

Refuah shleimah!
By the way I put your link on one of my blogs.