Sunday, July 4, 2010

Fear of Change

Dark becomes light...
Well, I have this gorgeous picture I took, but blogger isn't cooperating again.

My parents waited too long for their move out of the house.  I don't think that either will get full enjoyment from the assisted living place.  It's very sad.

My in-laws died more suddenly, a bit younger and in better shape, so we (and my sister-in-law and her family) didn't go through what we're (including of course my sister and her family) going through now.  Also the grandchildren have better memories of my in-laws because they died with all their marbles.

This should be a lesson, a wake-up call for all of us. 

"Old age isn't for sissies" may be true, but it's worse even watching it in others.  Very sad...


Jennifer in MamaLand said...

Sorry the picture didn't work out; I hope I get to see it.

"The grandchildren have better memories"... except the ones who were too little, or not born yet. Is it better to meet your zeidy but remember him only at the end, or never to have met him at all?

I wonder.

When we knew my father was dying (at 65), I told my oldest (then 14) to remember him so he could tell his little siblings. 3 and 1 at the time, they won't remember a thing about him.

My sisters' kids - if and when, iy"h - won't have a zeidy at all. And he was the BEST zeidy; it was his whole life.

Now I'm thinking about zeidies, but I think I'll keep that for my own blog.

Hope your trip is reasonably trouble-free and that he is relieved to be back with your mother.

You've given him such wonderful care during his time in Israel. Sounds like he's raising you just fine. :-)

Batya said...

Jennifer, thanks so much. This isn't easy as you know. The support helps.

Hadassa said...

But perhaps leaving the house earlier wouldn't have created the outcome you think it would have. My grandmother's sister moved into an assisted living place at a relatively early age. My grandmother insisted that that's why she died at a relatively early age. Her (my grandmother's) reaction was to say, "G-d forbid I should ever be in a place like that!" Fortunately she could afford 24 hour care in her own apartment when the need arose.
And then there are people like my husband's grandmother. She moved into an assisted living apartment after her husband died (and before she definitely needed it) and was extremely satisfied with it.
A more important question may be, "Did your parents get full enjoyment out of their own house?"
I'll second Jennifer's comments.

Batya said...

Hadassa, As in many cases, the caregiver (my mother) needed to get into a smaller place but had no cooperation and wasn't willing to allow anyone else to really help. Only very recently has my father stopped insisting that he'll be returning to the Great Neck house.