Not Burnt Out, But... The Latest in the Saga

Yes, this is the latest in the  very "sandwich generation" saga of my caring for my 89 year old father.

It's not "burn out" but the ramifications of the canceled invitation to a Shabbat in a hotel rankle.  Over the years, a wealthy friend would mention that we would be invited to his annual bash in a fancy hotel, but only once did the "invitation" actually result in our actually being invited and enjoying the treat.

This year, it looked like we'd be going, and my daughter very enthusiastically offered to have my father over.  Then, after we'd RSVP'ed that we could go, we got a call that the hotel was fully booked and we were "uninvited."  OK, we're on the waiting list.

That's a tough break.  Maybe we'll end up going, maybe not.

Until now, I've been OK with Shabbat, trying to invite at least one person each week and extremely thankful for the invitations we've gotten.  I've gotten used to dovening (praying) at home, no complaints, being as pragmatic and thankful for what we have as can be. 

But I really was looking forward to going away, being wined and dined, seeing other people and places, having to pay no more than our transportation and a gift to the host.  Now that it was offered, I need it.  Maybe that sounds strange.

I must refocus, change gears, go back to where I was before the invitation.  It's like those computer card games.  When I play freecell, I can only "undo" one move.  I need to "undo" more than that to return to the peace I had felt.