Grandmothering

Nu, what are we grandmothers really supposed to do? This New York Times article seems rather whiny to me.

The post-feminist daughters of baby-boomers interviewed in the article expect their mothers and mothers-in-law to be the grannies of their dreams. And the grannies aren't interested.

I wonder if I'm a good grandmother. Growing up I didn't have much in role models. I only had one living grandmother from the time I was less than three, and when I was three and a half she became my only grandparent when my grandfather died. She lived with my aunt and her family. Those cousins had a full-time grandmother. I saw her every few weeks, months whenever. All of those visits included cousins. I never developed a special relationship with my grandmother.

Soon after my husband and I got married we moved to Israel, so once we had kids, our parents' visits were short and intense. They were young grandparents and loved taking over. We were older by the time we became grandparents, and our daughter and her husband were older than we were when we became parents. We had to develop the roles from anew.

I babysit a bit once or twice a week. I don't do housework, but that's because I just hate housework. I'll take in the wash and things like that. My husband comes every few weeks to read the grandchildren stories and then continues home. Of course they visit for Shabbat and holidays.

I think that every family has to work things out in a way which is good. There are no rules.